Sarah and the rabbit

Sarah and the
Rabbit

A man was speeding down a back country road,
when he saw a rabbit
hopping in the middle of the road. Although he tried to swerve and miss
it, he hit the rabbit squarely. Being a true animal lover, the man slammed
on his brakes, leapt from his car, and hurried to see if the rabbit was
alright. To his dismay he found the rabbit was dead.

As the man sorrowing over the rabbit’s limp body, he heard another
car
coming. The other car stopped and the driver emerged to see what was
going on. The other driver, Sarah, nudged the rabbit’s limp body
with her toe and remarked that it surely was dead.

The man once again expressed his grief over having killed the poor
innocent animal but the Sarah said not to worry. She ran to her car, dug
around inside, and returned with a spray can.

She sprayed the rabbit’s body and, sure enough, after a few minutes,
the
rabbit stirred, quiverred, and then rose to a crouching position. A moment
later the rabbit started down the road as if nothing had ever
happened.

However, every few feet the rabbit would turn and wave goodbye. The
man
was astounded! He snatched the spray can from Sarah to see just what
kind of magic she had done! The spray can bore the label:
ALBERTO VO5
Restores life to any dead limp hair and gives it a permanent
wave.

Get streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

Sarah and the Mailbox

Sarah and the
Mailbox

Sarah went to her mail box several times
before it was even time for
the mailman to make his rounds.

A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she
was
waiting for a special delivery.

Her reply: “My computer keeps telling me I have
mail”.

Get a steady stream of wit and wisdom delivered to you Kindle.

Sarah and the Final Exam

Sarah and the Final
Exam

Sarah reported for her university final
examination which consists
of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration
takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet “Yes” for Heads and “No” for
Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class
is sweating
it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the
coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
“I finished the exam in half an hour, but I’m rechecking the
answers”.

Get a steady stream of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

---

Sarah and the Dude Ranch

Sarah and the Dude
Ranch

Sarah went to a “Dude Ranch” on vacation.
The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.

Sarah asked what the difference was.

“Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.”

“Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into
too much traffic out here.”

Get steady streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle

The Driver’s License

Sarah and the Driver’s
License

A police officer stops Sarah for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license, and then today you expect
me to show it to you!”

Have streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle

The Diet

Sarah and the
Diet

Sarah is terribly overweight, so her doctor
puts her on a diet. “I
want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and
repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll
have lost at least five pounds.”

When Sarah returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my
instructions?”

Sarah nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to
drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?”

“No, from skipping.”

Have streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

The Coke Machine

The Blonde and the Coke
Machine

 
A blonde was going to a soda machine and she
arrived there just before a businessman coming to quench his
thirst.

She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little
and
pushed a Diet Coke selection. Out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a
counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and
inserted
it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button
for Coke Classic. Out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She
immediately took the 50 cents and put in in the machine, studied it for a
moment and
pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew.

As she was reaching into her purse again, the businessman who had
been
waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up. “Excuse me, miss, but
are you done yet?”

She looked at him and indignantly replied, “Well, duhhhh! I’m still
winning!”

Have streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Alligator Shoes

Sarah and the Alligator
Shoes

Sarah was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a
pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant
to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming
very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
Sarah shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I
can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck
out
and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, Sarah turned and headed for
the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the
shopkeeper is driving home when he spots Sarah standing waist
deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot
alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature
and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper
watches in amazement.

Just then Sarah flips the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated,
shouts out, “Dang it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes
either!”

Get a steady stream of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle

New Windows

New Windows

Sarah had the windows in her house replaced
with new
double insulated energy efficient windows.

Twelve months later she gets a call from
the contractor,
complaining that the work has been done for a year and
she has yet to make the first payment.

Sarah replies, “don’t try to pull a fast
one on me. The
salesman who sold me those told me that in one year
they would pay for themselves.

Have updates of wit and wisdom delivered to you Kindle

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

A life long journey of spiritual enlightenment. A journey we all must take

 

Did you hear about When the blonde

Did You Hear About When the blonde….

Two Blondes were in a parking lot trying to
unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door
open, but they couldn’t. The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a
moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry
up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”
*
Hear about when Sally that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at
night.
*
What happened to Sally’s ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.

Get a steady stream of wit and wisdom on your Kindle.