Ten Top Things Only Women Understand

Flowers are the nourishment of the soul wall clocks by lifejourneysimages
Your own design clock at zazzle.com

Top Ten Things Only Women
Understand

10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black
shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a
peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to
impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

Design your own photo gifts, my photo or yours.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Fortune Teller

The Fortune
Teller

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer
sneaked off to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute.

In a dark and hazy room,
peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and
horrible death this year.“

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then
at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took
a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.
She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked
her question.

“Will I be acquitted?”

Design your own photo gifts, your photo or mine.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

A Bad Day

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?”, he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY.  I can`t stand to see a man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure.  I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.  When I went to the parking  lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance.   I left my wallet in the cab I took home.   I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.”

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!  But enough about me, how’s your day going?”

Cheese Making ,Step by Step.

Design your own photo gifts, your photo or mine.

 

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

A perfect description of middle age baby creeper by lifejourneysimages
View Dancing T-Shirts online at zazzle

The Divorce

The Divorce

A married couple is driving down the interstate
doing 55 mph.
The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him
and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but,
I want a divorce.”

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it,
because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and
he’s a much better lover than you.”

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
increases. She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband
speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, “I want the kids, too.” The husband just keeps
driving faster, and faster, now he’s up to 80 mph.

She says, “I want the car, the checking account, and all the
credit cards, too.” The husband slowly starts to veer toward
a bridge overpass piling, as she says, “Is there anything you
want?”

The husband says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”

She asks, “What’s that?”

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph,
“I’ve got the airbag!”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Dog and the Funeral

philosophy posters by lifejourneysimages
See another framed artwork on Zazzle

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The
man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a
bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this.
“Whose funeral is it?”

“My wife’s.”

”What happened to her?”

The man
replied, “She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”

The man answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.”

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

“Can I borrow the dog?”

The man replied, “Get in line.”

Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Boss

The Boss

A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to
assert himself. “You don’t have to
let
your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the
boss.”

 

 

Of course, the husband takes the doctor’s
advice. He rushes home, slams
the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, “From now on,
you’re
taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on
the table,
go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes.

Tonight, I’m going out with the boys and
you are going to stay at home where
you belong. And another thing… Do you know who’s going to comb my hair,
adjust my pants, and then tie my bow tie?”

“I certainly do,” says his wife calmly.
“The undertaker.”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Postman

One Monday morning the Postman is riding through the neighbourhood on
his usual route, delivering the mail.

 As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still
in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load
of empty beer and liquor bottles for the recycling bin.

 ‘Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the
Postman comments.

Derek, in obvious  discomfort, replies ‘Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday.

 We had about 15 couples from around the neighbourhood over for some
weekend fun and it got a bit wild.

 We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.

 The Postman thinks a moment and says, ‘How do you play WHO AM I?

‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with
a sheet covering us, with only our ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet.

Then the women tries to guess who it is.

 The Postman laughs and says, ‘Sounds like fun, I’m sorry I missed it

‘Probably a good thing you did,’ Derek responded. ‘Your name came up 7
times.’

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

He Said, She Said

Lavender Flower Photo Print by lifejourneysimages
Create your own online photo enlargement at Zazzle

He Said, She
Said…

He said… Do you love me just because my
father left me a fortune?
She said…Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the
money.

 

She said…What do you mean by coming
home half drunk?
He said…It’s not my fault…I ran out of money.

On wall in ladies room: ‘My husband follows
me everywhere.’
Written just below it: ‘I do not’

He said… Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
She said…Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light
on.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Bushnell Binoculars 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

Last Request

Last Words

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after
his Sunday
morning service, and she’s in tears.

 

He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary
my dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband
passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible.
Tell me, Mary,
did he have any last requests?”

“That he did,
Father…”

The priest says, “What did he ask,
Mary?”

She says, “He said, ‘Please Mary, put down
that gun…'”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

Wisdom from a day gone past

Bad Eating Habits

                                                                                           
Dietitian

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience
in Chicago:
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
 
years ago.

Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your
stomach lining. Chinese food is
loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the
long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking
water.

But there is one thing that is the most
dangerous of all — and we all have,
or will at some point, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating
it?”

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood
up and said, “Wedding cake.”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.