The Lonely Frog

Photography Prints

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline
and asked what his
future holds.



His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a
beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about
you.”

The frog is thrilled, “This is great!
“Will I meet her at a party?” he croaks.

“No,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”

Men’s Iron man watch

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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated


swimming

A short story depicting adventures in the out back of Australia

 

Understanding Women

Art Prints

The Wish

A man walking along a California beach was
deep in
prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord, grant
me one wish.”

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head
and in a
booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have
TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you
one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii,
so I can drive
over anytime I want to.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very
materialistic.
Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The
supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific!
The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it
is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of another wish, one
that would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he
said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I
want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking
when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry,
what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can
make a woman truly happy.”

After a few minutes God said, “You want
two lanes or
four on that bridge?”

101 places to see before you die

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated


Enlightenment
At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth

Telephone Jokes

Q. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
A. Bell-bottoms!

Q. How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
A. They both have rings!

Q. What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?
A. He grew up to be a bellhop!

Q. What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?
A. A smooth operator!

Q. What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A. A big phone-y!

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton need a telephone?
A. He had no body to talk with!

Q. How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
A. H-E-L-L-O!

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A. A television.

Q. What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
A. When they’re not home!

Q. How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
A. Collect!

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A. A party line!

Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He cuts them short.

Q. Why didn’t the mummy want a telephone?
A. He always got too wrapped up in his calls!

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Free Grocery Coupons

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

 

Art Prints

Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has
cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many
friends and supporters.

They know he is a lying cheat, but they
just avoid the issue. He
is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was
wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so
long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.
Signed Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are a New York Senator, you
don’t need him anymore.

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120x60 St. Patrick's Day

 

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

America

Rules Guys Wish Girls Knew

Photography Prints

Rules Guys Wish Girls
Knew

If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
*

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it
down.
*

 


Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
*

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
he
can find the perfect gift.
*

If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer
you
don’t want to hear.
*

Sometimes, he is not thinking about you. Live with
it.
*

Don’t ask about his thoughts unless you want to discuss navel lint,
shotguns, or monster trucks.
*

Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different. It’s just like every
other cat.
*

A dog is better than ANY cat. Period.
*

Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
*

Shopping is not a sport.
*

Anything you wear is fine. Really.
*

You have enough clothes.
*

You have too many shoes.
*

Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect him to submit
to it.
*

Your ex-boyfriend is, was, and always will be an
idiot.
*

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
*

No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark important
days on
a calender.
*

Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think he
would be any good at choosing which pair, out of your thirty, would look
good with your dress?
*

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
*

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
*

Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
*

Foreign movies are best left to foreigners.
*

Check your oil.
*

Don’t give him 50 rules when 25 will do.
*

It is neither in your best interest nor his to take the quiz
together.
*

Anything said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.
*

If you won’t dress like Victoria’s Secret women, don’t expect us to
act
like soap opera men.
*

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways
makes you sad and/or angry, we meant the other one.
*

You can either ask him to do something or tell him how you want it
done
-not both.
*

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
*

Consider golf a mini-vacation from each other. He needs it just as
bad
as you do.
*

Telling him that the models in men’s magazines are airbrushed makes
you
look jealous and certainly is not going to deter him from reading
them.
*

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months.

Paddling Southern Minnesota

Now you can follow me on Kindle

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

Marketing Explained

Sell Art Online

Marketing Explained

The buzz word in today’s business world is marketing. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of the concept.

Well, here it is — everything you need to know about marketing.

You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Direct Marketing.

 

 

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s
fantastic in bed.”

That’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in
bed.”

That’s Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to
him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten
his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By
the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”

That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That’s a Sales Representative.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you.

That’s Tech Support.

You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the
roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your
lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”

That’s Spam.

The purpose in your life.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

Keep your beer cold photo
Keep your beer cold photo by lifejourneysimages
Check out other Sail Photography at zazzle.com

Determining the Sex of Flies

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Determining the Sex of
Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking
around with a fly swatter.

What are you doing?” She
asked.

 

 

“Hunting Flies” He
responded.

“Oh!, Killing any?” She
asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females”, he
replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you
tell?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2
were on the phone”.

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Time for a new camera?

MR.BEER® Home Brewing Kits. America's #1 Home Brewing System. Makes a great gift!

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Honest Drunk

Honest Drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket
where she selected
a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a
head of romaine lettuce, a 2lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package
of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
front of the cashier.

 

He said, “You must be
single.”

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued
by the derelict’s intuition,
looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly
unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what,
you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know
that?”

The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re
ugly.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Sell Art Online

Bill Clinton in Horse Country

A man walked into a cowboy bar
and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the
television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and
mumbled, “Now, there’s the biggest horse’s ass I’ve ever
seen.” A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up,
walked over to him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary
Clinton appeared on the television. “She’s a horse’s ass
too,” the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the
bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his
stool. “Damn it!” the man said, climbing back up to the
bar. “This must be Clinton country!”

“Nope,” the bartender replied. “Horse country!”

Liberty and Tyranny Mark Levin.

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The Wine Cellarage

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

 

Art Prints