The Easter Parade

The Easter
Parade

There was to be an Easter parade in their
town and the
two young boys were working hard on their small float for
the parade in the basement of their church.

They decorated
their small wagon and placed a wooden cross right in the
center of it. They put flowers on and around the cross and
draped it with purple strips of cloth.

The pastor happened to
stop by the the room. He looked at the boys’ float and said,
“I am sorry boys, but you have it all wrong. The cross was
not beautiful like you have made it. It was rugged, hard, and
ugly. You will have to change your float.”

The boys stood
silent for a moment. Then one of the boys looked up to His
pastor and responded, “But pastor, I thought that Jesus
never touched anything and left it the same!?”

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Clever Quotes

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Clever Quotes
#1

“Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of
Three Ain’t Bad.”
*
“Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair.”
*
“I Used Up All My Sick Days… So I Called In
Dead.”
*
“Husband and Cat Lost… Reward for Cat.”
*
“Be Nice to Your Children… They’ll Pick Your Nursing
Home.”
*
“Husbands Should Come With Instructions.”
*
“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This
Time.”
*
“I Want It All and I Want It Delivered… Now ! “
*
“Life Is Hard; Then Your Not Here.”
*
“Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the
Same.”
*
“Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk
Carton.”
*
“Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt.”
*
“Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes… Use Birth
Control.”
*
“60-Year-Old, One Owner, Needs Parts… Make
Offer.”
*
“If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them
on
My Knees.”
*
“If You Can Read This…Kiss A Teecher.”
*
“A Nest Isn’t Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the
Attic.”
*
“That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!”
*
“Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
Up.”
*
“My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink.”
*
“I Yell Because I Care.”
*
“If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really
There.”
*
“Procrastinate Now.”
*
“Rehab Is for Quitters.”
*
“Re-Elect Nobody.”
*
(Across a drawing of a skeleton) “Waiting for the Perfect
Man.”
*
“My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse…
…. He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse.”
*
“My Dog Can Lick Anyone.”
*
“Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large
Groups.”
*
(On a baby-size shirt) “Party – My Crib – Two
A.M.”

Jokes posted regularly, follow me on Kindle.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perception

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But on the Other Hand

But on the Other Hand
#2…

No one listens until you make a
mistake.
*
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full
view.
*
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required
on it.
*
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the
softness of
the bread.
*
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability
to
reach it.
*
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.
*
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch
up.
*
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
*
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never
tried
before.
*
Don’t sweat the petty things….or pet the sweaty
things.
*
A fool and his money are soon partying.
*
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
*
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of
payments.
*
Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great
trade!
*
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
*
Everybody repeat after me…..”We are all
individuals.”
*
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real
eye-opener.
*
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman
scorned.
*
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
checks.
*
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off
now.
*
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it
back.
*
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the
spot.
*
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
*
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t
for you.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow me on Kindle.

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But on the Other Hand

But on the Other
Hand…

On the other hand, you have different
fingers.
*
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory.
*
When the chips are down, the buffalo is
empty.
*
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
don’t.
*
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.
*
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be
misquoted, then used against you.
*
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without
sponges.
*
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
*
Pardon my driving; I’m reloading.
*
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented
fool.
*
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
*
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
*
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet
engines.
*
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese
*
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we
met
*
I drive way too fast to worry about
cholesterol
*
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her
friends?
*
Mind Like A Steel Trap = rusty and illegal in 37
states
*
The only substitute for good manners is fast
reflexes.
*
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane,
going the wrong way.
*
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
*
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of
thinking.
*
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you
need it.
*
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
criticism.
*
He who hesitates is probably right.
*
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker
with.

I post regularly,follow me on Kindle.

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Aphorisms For our Time

Aphorisms For Our
Time

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this
bull before.
*
Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
*
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad
check.
*
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from
where you
left them to where you can’t find them.
*
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
*
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve
as
warning to others.
*
Ray’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
*
Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It’s
easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you’d be paranoid
too.
*
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
*
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of
thinking.
*
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you
need it.
*
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
criticism.
*
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full
view.
*
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
many is
research.
*
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above
your
principles.
*
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
*
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch
up.
*
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
*
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never
tried
before.
*
Change is inevitable….except from vending
machines.

I post several times a week,now you can follow on Kindle.

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Aikin’s One Liners

Aiken’s One
Liners

“Never invite trouble – it will accept the
invitation every time.”
*

“The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let
the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.”
*

“It doesn’t take long for a person with push to pass a person
with pull.”
*

“Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age
looks tired.”
*

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you
cannot do.”

I post several times a week, follow now on Kindle

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You’ve Come a Long Way Baby

You’ve Come a Long Way
Baby

Barbara Walters had done a story on gender
roles in Kuwait several
years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait
recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind
their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. “This
is
marvelous,” she said. “What enabled women here to achieve this
reversal of roles?”

The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”

I post jokes several times a week, now you can follow me on Kindle.

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Woman’s Dictionary

The Women’s
Dictionary

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally
becomes when pulled over
by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re
right,
but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, “made the dinner”.

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can
understand
them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat
socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go
with a pound of M&M chocolate covered
peanuts.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football
game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See also
“Magician”.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in
space…if
he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, “Focus… breath…
push… Good Girl!”

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere
romantic”. After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also
“tranquilizers.”

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of
a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove
it.

Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone male to
take
out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions

Why Women Have it so Easy

Why Women Have It So
Easy

This week, I am at home and playing house
husband. My wife left a list
of things I need to do. This is so easy, I thought I would share it with
you.

1. Make the beds. What a waste
of effort, we’re only going to sleep in
them again tonight. Forget that. Scratch one.

2. Pick up dog poop in yard. It snowed last night, I don’t see any
dog
poop, kids do you see any dog poop? Scratch
two.

3. Drop your shirts off at the cleaners. Duh, I’m on vacation, I
don’t
need them. Scratch three.

This is easy! What’s the fuss? Think I’ll go on AOL for a
while.

4. Clean out Tupperware cabinet. Uh, that’s a hard one. Got it!
Velcro
on the door will keep them closed. Scratch
four.

5. Mop kitchen floor. The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast,
floor looks clean to me. Scratch five.

6. Find something fun for the kids to do. That tinfoil in the microwave
thing was kinda fun. Scratch six.

This is way too easy. I’ll have lots of time for
AOL.

7. Vacuum the carpets. That a hard one. Hey kids, wanna have some
more
fun? Scratch seven.

8. Feed kids lunch. Hey kids, don’t you have a friend’s house to go
to?
Yes! Scratch eight!

9. Clean out hallway closet. Hm, another hard one. That’s it, take
enough out of the closet to close the door. Out of sight, out of mind.
Hm, this other stuff can go under a bed. Scratch
nine.

Boy, oh boy, am I good. Lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker
bag
and eat. Tada! no lunch dishes!

10. Do laundry. No problem, I can do that while I’m on AOL. Scratch
ten.

11. Fold laundry. Ya know, I never noticed how many pink things this
family actually wears. Gonna have to ask the little lady why she buys me
pale pink underwear. Check this out, a cashmere Barbie sweater. Cool.
Scratch eleven.

12. Put the laundry away. Baskets in bedrooms work for me. Scratch
twelve. This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about
house
work?

13. Water the Christmas tree. Oops! Good thing the carpet is
absorbent.
Scratch thirteen.

14. Grocery shopping. Buy toilet paper. These old newspapers will
do,
besides, that’s recycling and that’s good for the Earth. Scratch

fourteen.


15. Pick up the kids. Yeah right; we’re talking about my kids here.
Parents will normally pay to drop them back off. They’ll be back.
Scratch fifteen.

Wonder who’s on AOL. Aw, I have plenty of
time.

16. Make dinner. Easy, “Hello do you deliver? Uh, double that, ya
know
we will need more dinner tomorrow.” Scratch
sixteen.

17. Clean out the dog house. Duh, the dog sleeps in our bed. Like
that
needs to be done. Scratch seventeen.

Wow, all done. Still time for some AOL and a nap. Man, this is so
easy.
Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they’re
working. Wish I was a chick!

Credence Clearwater Revival :Greatest Hits.

I regularly post jokes several times a week, you can now follow me on Kindle.

Art Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

 

Why Dogs are Better than Wives

Why Dogs Are Better Than
Wives

Dogs don’t cry.

*
Dogs love it when your friends come
over.

*
Dogs don’t care if you use their
shampoo.

*
Dogs think you sing great.

*
A dog’s time in the bathroom is limited to a quick
drink.

*
Dogs don’t expect you to call them when you’re running
late.

*
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see
you.

*
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other
dogs.

*
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dogs
name.

*
Dogs are excited by rough play.

*
Dogs don’t mind if you give their
offspring away.

*
Dogs can appreciate excess body
hair.

*
Anyone can get a good looking
dog.

*
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t
hate it.

*
Dogs don’t shop.

*
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on
the floor.

*
Dogs never need to examine the
relationship.

*
A dog’s parents never come to
visit.

*
Dogs love long car trips.

*
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking
for directions.

*
Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

*
No dog ever bought a Kenny G.
album.

*
No dog ever put on a hundred pounds
after reaching adulthood.

*
Dogs never criticize.

*
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get
your point across.

*
Dogs never expect gifts.

*
Dogs don’t worry about germs.

*
Dogs like to do their snooping outside,
as opposed to your wallet, desk ors
ock drawer.

*
Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide
their life.

*
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a
lobster dinner.

*
You never have to wait for a dog, they’re ready 24
hours a day.

*
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or
jewelry.

*
Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.

*
Dogs never want a foot rub.

*
Dogs can’t talk.

*
Dogs aren’t catty.

*
Dogs seldom outlive you.

I post funnies several times a week, you can now follow me on Kindle.

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