Dear Abby

Dear Abby II

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be 20 next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like? CAROL

DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.

DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible? KAY

DEAR KAY: Only if they don’t work.

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a 10-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.

DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? JAKE

DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.

DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is 73 and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE

DEAR ANNIE: Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? SAM IN CAL.

DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.

DEAR ABBY: I am 44 years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. ROSE

DEAR ROSE: So would I.

DEAR ABBY: What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS

DEAR BESS: Night and Day.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Do What You Love, Make Money

 


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State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

A very confident Marine Corps Pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

The Pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Fighter Pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

 

Lorraine

Lorraine

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called
Lorraine. She very
pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a
new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly and she
was absolutely gorgeous.

He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she
was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn’t
get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with
Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up
with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to
tell Lorraine but he couldn’t bring himself to do
it.

One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped
and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she
drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling
and
singing…………

“I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone…”

Planet Earth as You’ve Never Seen it Before

have jokes delivered to your Kindle.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Difference Between Complete and Finished

Art Prints

 

What’s the Difference Between Complete and Finished?

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between complete and finished*.

However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London,
England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world,
Samsunder Balgogin, a Guanese, was the clear winner.

His final challenge was this: “Some say there is no difference
between complete and finished. Please explain the difference between
complete and finished in a way that is easy to understand.”

His astute answer: “When you marry the right woman, you are complete. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are finished. If the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished.

His answer was received with a standing ovation.

Have a dose of humor delivered irregularly to your Kindle.

101 and 1 places to see before you die.


 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions

The Costume Party

Sunset in Paradise Gallery Wrap Canvas
Sunset in Paradise Gallery Wrap Canvas by lifejourneysimages
Shop for Florida Canvas Prints online at Zazzle.com

 

The Costume Party

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He,
being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his
good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he
went.The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without
pain. As it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since her
husband didn’t know what her costume was since she had gotten them from
the shop, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to
see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on
the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, even copping a
little feel here and a little kiss there. She contained her anger and
sidled up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his
partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had
just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished — and why not, since he was her
husband?! Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang, still
keeping their masks on.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading
when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, “Oh, the
same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not
there.”

Then she asked, “Well, did you even get any dancing in?” she asked, knowing how much he enjoys dancing.

“Well, I have a confession to make, honey,” he says. Here we go,
she thinks. “Sweetie, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I
saw Pete, Bill and Johnny, so we went into the den and played poker all
evening. But I’ll tell you: the guy I loaned my costume says he sure
had a good time!”

Coleman Road Trip Grill

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

Photography Prints

Cell Phone Etiquette

Cell Phone Etiquette

After a very busy day, Peggy settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Manhattan for the ‘burbs. 

As the train rolled out of the station, one last passenger jumped on the train and got the last seat — right next to Peggy.

Naturally, he pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice.

“Hi sweetheart, it’s Eric! … I’m on the train — yes, I know it’s
the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting … No,
honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss.
No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life — yes, I’m sure, cross my
heart,” etc., etc.

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It was nauseating. And no matter how much Peggy glared at him,
cleared her throat, or otherwise tried to express her disapproval over
his rudeness, he completely ignored her.

Fifteen minutes later, she got an idea. She leaned in close to him
and said in her most sensual, pouty voice aimed right at his phone:

“Hey, Eric, sweetie! Turn off that stupid phone and come back to bed!”


Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

The College Co-ed

Enjoy LIfe Tiles
Enjoy LIfe Tiles by lifejourneysimages
Look at other Florida Tiles at zazzle.com

A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest.

“How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

“Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he
never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she
replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you
get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

“Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never
takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.

“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

The Realization Process

Many, many chuckles, follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

 


10% Off Carrot Ink Products Today!

 

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The Blonde at the Supermarket

Oranjestad Aruba Photo
Oranjestad Aruba Photo by lifejourneysimages
See other Caribbean Photography at zazzle

 

The Blonde at the Supermarket

Arnold goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and saying a sweet “hello!”

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from.

Finally he says, “Um, do you know me?”

She replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my children.”

Uh oh….

He thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to Janet, and has a sudden recollection of a drunken party.

“My god,” Arnold says. “Are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I coaxed into a private room with a $50 bill, and then we had sex
on the pool table with all my buddies watching from the door while I
yelled ‘I call the corner pocket!’ while you screamed ‘Harder, harder!’
and ‘Deeper, deeper!’?”


“Well, no,” she says. “I’m your son’s math teacher.”

Turquoise Good Luck Bracelet.

Follow me on Kindle.

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Sell Art Online

She’ll be 18

Art Prints

 

A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway..
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.

He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.

The young man lowers his window. ‘Uh, yes, Officer?’

The trooper asks: ‘What are you doing?’

The young man says: ‘Well, Officer, I’m reading a magazine.’

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says:

‘And her, what is she doing?’The young man shrugs: ‘Sir, I believe she’s filing her fingernails.’

Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone,

in a car, at night in a lover’s lane… And nothing obscene is happening!The trooper asks:

‘What’s your age, young man?’The young man says:

 

‘I’m 22, sir.’The trooper asks:

‘And her…. what’s her age?’The young man looks at his watch and replies:

‘She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes….Laugh Along on Kindle.

Where Everything Says I Love You. Find Figurines, Collectibles and Gifts for All Occasions at PreciousMoments.com

 The author has been a WRITER/ PHOTOGRAPHER for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Brothel

 

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else” said the madam.

He replied, “No, I must see Valerie.”

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

“There are no discounts. The price is still $5000.”

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?”

The man replied, ” New Brunswick ..”

“Really,” she said. “I have family in New Brunswick .”

“I know.” the man said. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.”

The moral of the story is that three(3) things in life are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors