Laws for the 21st Century

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Laws For 21st Century Life

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s really ugly.

Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them ?

 

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Telephone Jokes

Q. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
A. Bell-bottoms!

Q. How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
A. They both have rings!

Q. What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?
A. He grew up to be a bellhop!

Q. What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?
A. A smooth operator!

Q. What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A. A big phone-y!

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton need a telephone?
A. He had no body to talk with!

Q. How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
A. H-E-L-L-O!

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A. A television.

Q. What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
A. When they’re not home!

Q. How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
A. Collect!

Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A. A party line!

Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He cuts them short.

Q. Why didn’t the mummy want a telephone?
A. He always got too wrapped up in his calls!

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

 

Art Prints

Vegetarian Chicken

Cruise ship photo print
Cruise ship photo print by lifejourneysimages
Check out more Cruise Photography at Zazzle

Vegetarian Chicken

Each Friday night after work, Santa would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours
were strict Catholics and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem
for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The
Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass and as the
priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born a Sikh,
and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic.”

Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the
neighbourhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed
into Santa’s backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he
stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he
carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: “Oye, you waz
born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and
you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato”!

Kan Jam Game

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

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