Our Father Who Art in Heaven

Our Father who art in
Heaven…”Our Father who art in
Heaven…”
“Don’t interrupt me. I’m praying…

“BUT YOU CALLED ME.”

“Called you? I didn’t call you. I’m praying. Our Father who art in
Heaven…”

“THERE YOU DID IT AGAIN.”

“Did What?”

“CALLED ME. YOU SAID, “OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN…”.
HERE
AM I. WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?”

“But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my
prayers
for the day. I always say the Lord’s Prayer. makes me
feel good,
kind of like getting
my duty done. “

“ALL RIGHT. GO ON.”

“Hallowed by thy name.”

“HOLD IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?”

“By what?”

“BY “HALLOWED BE THY NAME.”

“It means…it means…good grief, I don’t know what it means. How
should
I know? Its just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it
mean?”

“IT MEANS “HONORED,” “HOLY”, “WONDERFUL”.”

“Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what Hallowed meant
before.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in
Heaven.”

“DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?”

“Sure, why not?”

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?”

“Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be neat if you
got control of everything down here like you have up
there.”

“HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?”

“Well, I go to church.”

“THAT ISN’T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT THAT HABIT
OF LUST YOU HAVE? AND YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU’VE REALLY
GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE’S THE
WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY…ALL ON YOURSELF. AND WHAT
ABOUT THE KINDS OF BOOKS YOU READ?”

“Stop picking on me! I’m just as good as some of the rest of those
phonies at the church.”

“EXCUSE ME…I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY
WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO
START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU,
FOR EXAMPLE.”

“Oh, all right! I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now
that you mention it, I could probably name some others.”

“SO COULD I.”

“I haven’t thought about it until now, but I really would like to
cut
out some of those things. I’d like to, you know, be really
free.”

“GOOD, NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE’LL WORK
TOGETHER…YOU AND ME. NOW, SOME VICTORIES CAN TRULY
BE WON. I’M PROUD OF YOU.”

“Look Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer
than it
usually does…Give us this day our daily bread.”

“YOU NEED TO CUT DOWN ON THE BREAD TOO…YOU’RE
OVERWEIGHT
AS IT IS.”

“Hey, wait a minute! What is this, “Criticize Me Day?” Here I was
doing my
religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my
hang-ups.”

“PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU COULD WIND UP CHANGED
YOU KNOW. THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU. YOU
CALLED ME, AND HERE I AM. IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP ON
PRAYING. I’M INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART OF YOUR PRAYER.
WELL, GO ON.”

“I’m scared to.”

“SCARED? OF WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU’LL SAY. TRY ME AND
SEE.”

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against
us.”

“WHAT ABOUT JOE?”

“See, I knew it? I knew you would bring him up! Why he’s told lies
about
me, cheated me out of money… He never paid back that debt
he owes
me. I’ve sworn to
get even.”

“BUT YOUR PRAYER…WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“WELL, AT LEAST YOU’RE HONEST. BUT IT’S NOT MUCH FUN CARRYING
THE LOAD OF BITTERNESS AROUND INSIDE, IS IT?”

“No, but I’ll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I made
some plans for
ol’ Joe. He’ll wish he never did me any harm.”

“YOU WON’T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU’LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN’T
SWEET. THINK OF HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE ALREADY. BUT I CAN
CHANGE
ALL THAT.”

“You can? How?”

“FORGIVE JOE. THEN I’LL FORGIVE YOU. THEN THE HATE AND SIN WILL
BE JOE’S PROBLEM AND NOT YOURS…YOU MAY LOSE THE MONEY,
BUT
YOU WILL SETTLE YOUR HEART.”

“But Lord, I can’t forgive Joe.”

“THEN I CAN’T FORGIVE YOU.”

“Oh, you’re right! You always are. And more than I want revenge on
Joe, I
want to be right with you… All right! I forgive him. Help him to find the
right
road in life, Lord. He’s bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think
about
it. Some way,
somehow, show him the right way.”

“THERE NOW! HOW DO YOU FEEL?”

Art Prints

“Hmmm….not bad. Not bad at all, In fact I feel pretty great. You
know, I
don’t think I’ll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first
time since I
can’t
remember.
Maybe
I won’t be so tired from now on because
I’m not
getting enough
rest.”

“YOU’RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER…GO ON.”

“Oh, All right…And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from
evil.”

“GOOD…GOOD. I’LL DO THAT. JUST DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN A
PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“QUIT HANGING AROUND THE WRONG PLACES, WATCHING
INAPPROPRIATE MOVIES AND TELEVISION, LISTENING TO SINFUL
CONVERSATIONS; HANGING AROUND THE PLACES WHERE PLAYBOY
AND PLAYGIRL ARE SOLD. CHANGE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.
SOME OF YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS ARE BEGINNING TO GET TO
YOU. THEY’LL HAVE YOU COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN WRONG
THINGS BEFORE LONG. DON’T BE FOOLED. THEY ADVERTISE THEY’RE
HAVING FUN, BUT FOR YOU IT WOULD BE RUIN. DON’T USE ME FOR
AN ESCAPE HATCH.”

“I don’t understand.”

“SURE, YOU DO, YOU’VE DONE IT…LOTS OF TIMES. YOU GET CAUGHT
IN A BAD SITUATION, YOU GET INTO TROUBLE AND THEN YOU
COME RUNNING TO ME. LORD, HELP ME OUT OF THIS MESS, AND I
PROMISE YOU I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. YOU REMEMBER SOME OF
THOSE BARGAINS YOU TRIED TO MAKE WITH ME?”

“Yes, and I’m ashamed Lord. I really am.”

“WHICH BARGAINS ARE YOU REMEMBERING?”

“Well, when the guy next door saw me backing away from the
neighborhood
bar… I told my wife I was going to the store… I remember telling you,
“Lord,
don’t let him tell her where I’ve been. I promise I’ll be in church every
Sunday.”

“HE DIDN’T TELL YOUR WIFE, BUT YOU DIDN’T KEEP YOUR
PROMISE, DID YOU?”

“I’m sorry Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought if I just prayed
the Lord’s
prayer everyday, then I could do what I liked. I didn’t expect anything to
happen like it did.”

“GO AHEAD, FINISH YOUR PRAYER.”

“Oh yes…For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory forever
and ever. Amen.”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY? WHAT WOULD
MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY?”

“No, but I’d like to know. I want to please you. I can see what a
mess
I’ve made out of my life, and I can see how great it would be to
 really be one of your
followers.”

“YOU JUST ANSWERED THE QUESTION.”

“I did?”

“YES, THE ONE THING THAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY IS TO HAVE
PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRULY LOVE ME. AND I CAN SEE THAT HAPPENING
BETWEEN US. NOW THAT SOME OF THESE OLD SINS ARE EXPOSED
OUT OF THE WAY…WELL, THERE’S NO TELLING WHAT WE CAN DO
AND
TOGETHER.”

“Lord, let’s see what we can make of me.”

“OK? YES, LET’S SEE.”

Have a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

masonic

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

His Name was Fleming

His Name Was Farmer Fleming

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish
farmer.

One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard
a
cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran
to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified
boy, screaming and struggling to free himself.
Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what
could have been a slow and
terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and
introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had
saved.

“I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son’s
life.”

Sell Art Online

“No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish
farmer
replied, waving off the offer.



At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family
hovel.

“Is that your son?” the nobleman asked.

“Yes,” the farmer replied proudly.

“I’ll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good
education.

If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll grow to a man you can
be proud of.”


And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming’s son graduated
from St.
Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become
known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming,
the discoverer of Penicillin.

Give me liberty print
Give me liberty print by lifejourneysimages
Shop for Liberty Posters online at Zazzle.com

Years afterward, the nobleman’s son was stricken with
pneumonia.
What saved him? Penicillin.


The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph
Churchill.


His son’s name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Have a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.
 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated

masonic

Throughout man’s long history on earth,there has been one group of people who have carried the torch of liberty and freedom throughout the ages , from time immemorial until the present day. In these days their counsel is need more than ever.

 

Good Morning

Good Morning!

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother
one morning and brought
her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously
waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother
had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced
down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in
the bottom of the cup.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
She asked, “Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the
bottom of my cup?”

Her grandson replied, “You know grandma, it’s like on TV, The best
part
of waking up is soldiers in your cup.”

Get a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well

 

Sell Art Online

God’s Wife

Photography Prints

God’s Wife

This is an eye witness account which happened in the City of New York, on a cold day in December some time ago. A
little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on Broadway, barefooted, peering through the window,
and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the boy and said; “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?”

“I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boys reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy.
She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel.

He replied, “Certainly,” and quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet then
dried them with a towel.

By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes,
and tying up the remaining pairs of socks, gave them to him.

She patted him on the head and said, “My little fellow, do you feel more comfortable now?”

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered
the question with these words, “Are you God’s Wife?”

Have a steady stream of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health,increase your wealth

Improve your health,increase your wealth

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Think Big Cloth Placemat
Think Big Cloth Placemat by lifejourneysimages
See other Tropical Placemats at zazzle

Giving Blood

Giving Blood

Unknown Author



Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer
at Stanford Hospital,
I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a
disease and needed a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother.
He had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the
antibodies needed to combat the illness.


The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked
the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw
him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and
saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save Liza.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and
smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then
his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor
and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right
away?”

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought
he was going to have to give her all his blood.

For a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle, follow me.


Four People

Four People

This is a story about four people: Everybody,
Somebody, Anybody,
and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked
to do it.

Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have
done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that
Everybody wouldn’t do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when actually
Nobody asked Anybody.

For a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle,follow me.

A Drug Problem

Drug Problem

I had a “drug” problem when I was a young
person and teenager.

I was “drug” to church on Sunday morning

I was “drug” to church on Sunday night –
I was “drug” to church on Wednesday night –
I was “drug” to Sunday School every week –
I was “drug” to Vacation Bible School –
I was “drug” to the family altar to read the bible and
pray.

I was also “drug” to the woodshed when
I disobeyed my parents.

Those “drugs” are still in my veins; and
they affect my behavior in
every thing I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine,
crack or heroin.

If our children had this “drug” problem,
America would certainly be a better place!

Want a steady supply of humor delivered to your Kindle?


Does Heaven Have a Bathroom

Photography Prints

 

Does Heaven Have a
Bathroom?

One day our 5 year old daughter came up to
my husband and me
and asked us what hell was like.


My husband told her it was a terrible place
with no food or water.

She then asked if hell had a bathroom.
My husband told her hell
had no bathrooms.

Then she asked what heaven was like. He
told her that is was
wonderful with all the food you can eat and drink.

Once again she asked about a bathroom.
My husband told her
that heaven did indeed have a bathroom.

Want a regular supply of humor delivered to your Kindle?

She then replied, “I’m going to heaven
where there’s a bathroom!

The Big Book of Humorous Training Games

 

Ride into the sunset puzzles
Ride into the sunset puzzles by lifejourneysimages
View more puzzles

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

 

Adopted

Adopted

Teacher Debbie Moon’s first graders were
discussing a
picture of a family.

One little boy in the picture had a different color hair
than the other family members.

One child suggested that maybe he was adopted.

A little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, “I know all about
adoptions because I was adopted.”

“What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child.

“It means that you grew in your mommy’s heart instead
of her tummy.” said Jocelynn.

Follow me on Kindle for more humor!

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when
all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into
his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: It’s my fault.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

So why did I write this? Well, my significant other, not happy with
my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m
in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he’ll buy me diamonds.

For a regular supply of humor, follow me on Kindle.