God Vs. Satan

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God vs. Satan

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s and Krispy Kreme.

And Satan said: “You want hot fudge with that?”

And Man said: “Yes!”

And Woman said: “I’ll have one, too…with sprinkles.”

And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.

And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

So God said: “Try my fresh green garden salad.”

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: “I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.”

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt, all to be washed down with artificially flavored sodas over sweetened with huge amounts of high-fructose corn syrup.

And Man packed on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy Lycra jogging suits as they sat on the couch all evening.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald’s and the 99-cent double cheeseburger, and then asked “Do you want fries with that?”

And Man replied: “Yes! And super size ’em!”

And Satan said: “It is good.”

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed…and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

Satan chuckled and created HMOs.

The Mayan Calendar

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

 

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Philanthropy

Photography Prints

 

PHILANTHROPY

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz
Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the
acoustics.

He inquired of the tour guide, “Is this magnificent auditorium named after
Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?”
“No,” replied the guide.

“It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer.”

“Never heard of him. What did he write?”

“A check”, replied the guide.

Find your way out of the darkness

www.joke4aday.com.

 


BirdFeeders.com - Shop Now!

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

Sunset in Paradise Gallery Wrap Canvas
Sunset in Paradise Gallery Wrap Canvas by lifejourneysimages
Browse more Florida Canvas Prints at Zazzle

The Army of God

 

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always
Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the congregation
departed.

The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these
words at him: “You need to join the Army of God!”

Moishe replied: “I’m already in the Army of God, Rabbi.”

The rabbi questioned: “How come I don’t see you except for Rosh Hashanah and
Yom Kippur?”

Moishe whispered back: “I’m in the secret service.”

The big book of HUMOROUS training games

Fine Art Prints.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

alcohol
In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Meal Time on El-AL

MEAL TIME ON EL-AL

It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked Moishe, seated in front.

“What are my choices?” Moishe asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

The History of the Knight’s Templars

Follow me on Kindle .

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Parking Place

Sell Art Online

THE PARKING SPACE


Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He’s late for a meeting, he’s looking for a parking place, and can’t find one.

In
desperation, he turns towards heaven and says: “Lord, if you find me a
parking place, I promise that I’ll eat only kosher, respect Shabbos, and
all the holidays.”

Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him. He turns his face up to heaven and says, “Never mind, I just found one!”

Planet Earth Like you’ve never seen it before.

Follow on Kindle .

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

church and state
There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

The Sinking Boat

Art Prints

 

THE SINKING BOAT


Two Jews, Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat
starts sinking.
Saul says to Morty, “So listen, Morty, you know I don’t swim

so well.”
Morty remembers how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard

class when he was just a kid, so he begins tugging Saul toward shore. After
ten minutes, he begins to tire.
Finally about 100 feet from shore, Morty
asks Saul, “So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?” Saul replies,
“Morty, this is a hell of a time to be asking for money!”

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

The Soul of Baseball

 

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated


RitzCamera.com

 

schoolhouse

A life long journey of spiritual enlightenment. A journey we all must take.

 

The Ctitzenship Test

Photography Prints

 

THE CITIZENSHIP TEST

 
Saul Ebstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class.He was asked to spell “cultivate,” and he spelled it correctly.
He was then 
asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded:“Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.”

The Travel Book

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

 

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

Beautiful Mornings Premium Trinket Box
Beautiful Mornings Premium Trinket Box by lifejourneysimages
View other Beautiful Premium Gift Boxes at Zazzle.com

The Bad Day

Yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor and he asked me what I did yesterday,
So I told him about my day:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from
an angry 14 point buck in the heavy brush, marched up and down a steep hill,


stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped


away from an aggressive rattlesnake, then outran an alligator!”

Inspired by my story, the doctor said,


“You must be an awesome outdoors-man!”

“No,” I replied, “just a bad golfer.

Funny ? Follow me on Kindle.

The Tooth Ache

Photography Prints

 

A woman and her husband interrupted their
vacation to go to the dentist.
 “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want
Novocaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the
tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.”
 The dentist was
quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which
tooth is it?”
 The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your
tooth, dear.”

Live with passion,Anthony Robbins

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

 

 

How to Explain Enron to Your Kids

Art Prints

 

How to Explain Enron to Your
Kids


Feudalism – You have two cows. Your lord
takes some of the milk.

 

Fascism – You have two cows. The government
takes both, hires
you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Communism – You have two cows. Your neighbors
help take care
of them and you share the milk.

Totalitarianism – You have two cows. The
government takes them
both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army.
Milk is banned.

Capitalism – You have two cows. You sell
one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
retire on the income.

Enron Venture Capitalism – You have two
cows. You sell three of
them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened
by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows
are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

Gary”s EBooks

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.


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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.