You Know getting Old When

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.

The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like you were out all night but haven’t been anywhere.

You get winded playing cards.

Your little black book contains only names ending in MD.

You join a health club and don’t have the strength to go.

A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You need glasses to find your glasses.

You get your hearing aid mixed up with the suppository.

You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine
chest.

You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

 

 

lifejourneysimages

You Know You’re Getting Old When You can Remember

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
*
When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
*
When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
*
When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
*
When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
*
When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
*
When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
*
When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
*
When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
*
When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
*
When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
*
When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.
*
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
*
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the
box.
*
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
*
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents.
*
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed–and did!
*
When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
*
When women were called, “Mrs. John Smith,” instead of their own name.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

A journey of spiritual discovery

 

 

You Know You’re a Mom When

You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re
equal.

You have the time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

Some one else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.

You’ve mastered the art of placing large quanitities of pancakes and
eggs on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read “Once Upon a Potty” out loud in the
lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.

You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, your child chews
his toast into the shape of a gun.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only way your child eats.

You can’t bear the thought of your son’s first girlfriend.

You hate the thought of his wife even more.

You find yourself cutting your husbands’ (spouse’s) sandwiches into
cute shapes.

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say,
“NOT in your good clothes!”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that
disease.

You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in
ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you
know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

 

You Know You Need a New Lawyer When

1. During your initial consultation he tries to
sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a
“Budweiser.”

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is,
they high-five each other.

4. He picks the jury by playing
“duck-duck-goose.”

5. During the trial you catch him playing his
Gameboy.

6. He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”

7. A prison guard is shaving your head.

8. Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack
Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.

9. He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the
defense table.

10. He begins closing arguments with, “As Ally
McBeal once said …”

11. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.
Mothra.

12. Just before trial starts he whispers, “The
judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”

13. Just before he says “Your Honor,” he makes
those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

14. The sign in front of his law office reads
“Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM.”

15. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells
the judge, “Whatever.”

16. He giggles every time he hears the word
“briefs.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated