How to get into Heaven

 

How to Get to Heaven

I was testing children in my Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?”

“NO!” the children answered in unison.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?”

Again, the answer was a unanimous “NO!”

“If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?”

Again, they all answered “NO!”

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, “Then how can I get into heaven?”

This time, there was no shout in unison. Finally, the silence was broken when a little boy shouted out, “You’ve got to be dead!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated


Air New Zealand

Air New Zealand

An oldie — and not for the easily offended.

A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?”

The boy said, “Yes, she did.”

“Well, then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air New Zealand always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

A modern day vision quest

A modern day vision quest

Join me in a journey of self discovery and enlightenment. Journey to the outback of Australia and learn the ways of the ancient aborigines.

 

Art Prints

The First aid Class

Her First Aid Class

“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the cocktail waitress walked into the bar.

“It was awful,” she explained. “I was walking down Elm Street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere! Thank God I took that first-aid course!”

“Did you splint his broken leg?” the bartender asked.

“No….” the girl said.

“Did you wrap his head in gauze?” he asked.

“No….” the girl said.

“Did you dress his wounds?” he asked, starting to really wonder.

“No….” the girl said.

“Well, what did you do that you learned in your first-aid class?” he finally asked.

“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

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My Dog

A Dog’s Life

I can’t believe I figured this out! Here: follow my logic!

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

 

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise, and doesn’t have to lift a finger to pay for it.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick wall:

My dog is a member of Congress.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Government Standards for Pipes

Government Pipe Specifications

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic, centered around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length — do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed their OD
(Outside Diameter) — otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. The pipe is supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe is to be supplied without rust; this can be more readily
applied at the job site. (NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply
pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is recommended
as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.)

6. All
pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words “LONG PIPE”
clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it’s a
long pipe.

7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also
have the words “LONG PIPE” painted in the middle so the contractor will
not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether it
is a long or short pipe.

8. All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in
diameter must have the words “LARGE PIPE” painted on it, so the
contractor won’t mistake it for a small pipe.

9. Flanges must
be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes from bolts that are quite
separate from the big holes in the middle.

10. When ordering 90
or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand,
otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to
specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe.
If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong
way.

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or
left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads. Otherwise, as the
coupling is being screwed on to one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the
other.

13. All pipes shorter than 1/8in (3mm) are very
uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as
washers.

14. Joints in pipes for water must be watertight. Those pipes for compressed air, however, need only be airtight.

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include; Conduit, Tube, Tunnel, and Drain. Use only genuine pipes.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 

The Engineer and the Guilloutine

The French
Revolution

During the French revolution, hundreds of
people were guillotined. One day,
three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the
third was an engineer.

The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the
attending
priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head on the guillotine. The blade
was released, but stopped halfway down its path. The priest, seeing an
opportunity, quickly said, “Gentlemen, God has spoken and said this man is
to be spared; we cannot kill him.” The executioner agreed, and the lawyer
was set free.

The doctor was next. He was blessed by the priest, then knelt and
placed his
head down. The blade was released, and again stopped halfway down. Again
the priest intervened: “Gentlemen, God has again spoken; we cannot kill
this man.” The executioner agreed and the doctor was set
free.

At last it was the engineer’s turn. He was blessed by the priest,
and knelt,
but before he placed his head on the guillotine he looked up. Suddenly, he
leapt to his feet and cried, “Oh, I see the problem!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website: www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Photography Prints

Have a Nice Day


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal
after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten
by a killer whale.


*
A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a
carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions.
After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly
with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
*
In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world
flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu, he came down eight
hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his
girlfriend had left him, and his phone and electricity had been
cut off.
*
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current,
she
whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm
in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to
his walkman.
*
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs,
all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and
stampeded, trampling the two protestors to death.
*
And the capper…..
*
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn’t pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with “return to sender” stamped on it.
Forgetting it was a bomb, he opened it and was blown to
bits.
*
SOOOOO,…..have a nice day!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website: www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

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