Just A Wee Bit

Art Prints

Just A Wee Bit

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry an extraordinarily beautiful woman so they could produce gorgeous children beyond compare.

With that as his mission, he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters, that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

“Well,” the Redneck simply replied, “they’re all lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Why don’t you look ’em over and pick the one you want?”

The man was ecstatic and decided to take each one out to dinner to size them all up. The first night he dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man’s opinion.

“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a wee bit — not that you can hardly notice — pigeon-toed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

“Well,” the man replied, “she’s just a wee bit — not that you can hardly tell — cross-eyed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect! She’s the one I want to marry.”

The redneck gave his blessing, so the couple was wed immediately. Months later their first baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

“Well,” explained the Redneck, “she was just a wee bit — not that you could hardly tell — pregnant when you met her.”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health,increase your wealth

Improve your health,increase your wealth

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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Lumberyard Questions

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Lumberyard Questions

A blonde couple drives into a lumberyard. The male half gets out of the truck, walks up to a worker, and says he needs a bunch of four-by-twos.

“You mean two-by-fours?” the worker asks.

“Hm, I’m not sure,” the male blonde says. “I’ll go check.”

He walks back to the truck, and the man and his blonde wife consult a book.

“Yeah,” he says after getting the answer. “I meant two-by-fours.”

“All right,” says the worker. “How long do you need them?”

This time, the blonde wife didn’t even need to consult the book.

“A really long time,” she calls over from the truck. “We’re gonna build a house.”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

IMPROVE your health, increase your wealth.

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

The Difference Between Men and Women

A Difference between Men and Women

On Friendship between women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

The man called his wife’s 10 best friends.

None of them knew about it.

 

On Friendship between men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.

The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over. And two claimed that he was still there!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern Day Walkabout



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The Blonde Grandma

Art Prints

Old Granny went to her doctor to see what could be  done about her constipation.

“It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”

“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.

“Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night.”

“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”

“Naturally,” she answered, “I take a book.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times : A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

A very confident Marine Corps Pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

The Pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Fighter Pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

 

Doctor’s Orders

A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down
the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and
said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doctor:
“Get a hot mamma and be cheerful’.”

The Doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart
murmur. Be careful.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

Blondes in Heaven

Blondes in Heaven

Two Blondes waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

“How’d you die?” the first blonde asked the second.

“I froze to death,” says the second.

“That’s awful,” says the first blonde. “How does it feel to freeze to death?”

“It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second blonde.

“You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?”

“I had a heart attack,” says the first. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.”

The second blonde shakes his head. “What a pity. If only you had looked in the freezer, we’d both still be alive!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

Common Sense from our ancestors

Is That You?


There was an old Italian man who had moved
to the US in his youth. He
worked hard his whole life at a fruit stand, frugally saving every
penny he could, investing money in stocks. When the time came to
retire, he had made enough to have his dream house built.

He hired an architect and eagerly started planning out his mansion.
After working out most of the rest, the architect asked if there was
anything special the Italian man wanted to include.

“Yes,” he said, “I-a allus-a want one of-a those-a hollow estatues
at-a the bottom of-a the stairs!”

“No problem!” said the architect, “I’ll pick a really beautiful
one!”

Comes the day for the grand opening of the house, and the Italian
man’s first look at it. He goes inside and excitedly runs around the
house, looking at everything and exclaiming “Yes, yes! That’s-a just
how I want it!”. He gets to the foot of the stairs and sees a stunning
porcelain Venus De Milo on a pedestal.

He turns to the architect and says “‘ey! What’s-a
that?”

The architect, somewhat baffled, says, “That’s the hollow statue you
asked for.”

“No, no, no!” the Italian man replies, shouting in the architect’s
face and waving his hands, “I no-a ask for that, I wanna hollow
estatue!”

“Well, I’m afraid I don’t understand. Could you explain to me what
you want?” the architect asked.

In the patient voice used on small children, the Italian man
carefully said, “I want-a that-a thing. It sit-a on the table. It-a
say ‘Ring ring’. You pick-a it up and say-a . . . “hallo, estat
you?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Blonde Ingenuity

 

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the
bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.

*
Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
*

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was
hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.
*

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
*

What did the blonde get on an IQ test?
Drool.
*

One day, the blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where
they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them
in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals
free.
*

Why does the blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don’t drink!
*

How did the blonde die while drinking milk?
The cow sat down!


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 swimming

A short story depicting adventures in the out back of Australia

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The Blonde’s Red Ears


With both ears very red, the blonde went to her
doctor.

The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she
answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead
of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear.”

“Oh dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But what happened
to your other ear?”

“The idiot called back!”


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.