Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an
afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if
you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife
will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two
inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side, while
cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the
gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.

During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches
will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days
with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the week. We expect a
warming trend where soup develops.

By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.


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Dumb Blonde Jokes

Photography Prints

Dumb Blond  Jokes

 What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year’s hide and seek champion.

 What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.

 Did you hear about the blondes who froze to death at the drive-in?
They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.

 What was the blonde psychic’s greatest achievement?
An in-body experience !

 What did the dumb blonde say to the doctor when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

 Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes ?
It gives brunettes and redheads something to do on Saturday night.

 How do you get a dumb blonde to marry you?
Tell her she’s pregnant.

 How do dumb blonde braincells die?
Alone.

 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A number of people claim to have seen a Bigfoot.

 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

 What do you call a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.

 What’s the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

 Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men.

 Why do blondes drive VW’s?
Because none of them can spell Porsche.

 How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t — they’re born that way.

 How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.

 What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell — she’s got a hand grenade in her mouth!

What does an intelligent blonde and a UFO have in common?
No matter how often you hear about them, you never see one.

 What do you call a blonde with a 50 I.Q.?
Gifted.

 Why do blondes have square boobs?
No one told them to take the tissues out of the box first.

Where does a blonde hemophiliac go for medical treatment?
An acupuncturist.

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

Denise Austin - Get Fit, Tight and Toned!

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

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The Hot Air Balloon

Where Am I?

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,”Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. Plus, you’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now it’s my fault!”

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