The Difference Between Men and Women

A Difference between Men and Women

On Friendship between women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

The man called his wife’s 10 best friends.

None of them knew about it.

 

On Friendship between men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.

The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over. And two claimed that he was still there!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern Day Walkabout



Get a free $50 gift card!

Ireland declares War on France

Ireland Declares War on France

Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

“Hallo, Mr. Chirac!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringin’ to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!”

“Well, Paddy,” Chirac replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”

Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!”

Chirac paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”

“Begoora!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back.”Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.

“Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Chirac asks.

“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”

Chirac sighs, amused; “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.”

“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.

“Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last! spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says Paddy, “I will have to ring you back.”

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day.

“Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Chirac. I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”

“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says Chirac. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 French prisoners.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Enlightenment

Join the author in a lifetime spiritual journey

Dear God

Dear God

Supposedly true excerpts of kids’ Sunday School letters to God.

Dear God: 

  • In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation?  
  • How did you know you were God? 
  • I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Allison 
  • On Halloween I am going to wear a Devil’s costume, is that all right with you? 
  • Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? 
  • Is it true my father won’t get into Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? 
  • Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? 
  • Who draws the lines around the countries? 
  • Do animals get to use you too or is there someone else for them? 
  • I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church … is that OK? 
  • I like the Lord’s Prayer the best of all. Did you have to write it a lot or did you get it right the first time? I have to write everything I ever write over again. 
  • God, it’s OK that you made different religions but don’t you get mixed up sometimes? 
  • Did they really talk that fancy in Bible times? 
  • I would like to know why all the things you said are in red? 
  • Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours or do you just know him through the business? 
  • Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you, because if you did then I’m going to fix my brother. 
  • My grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back DO you go? 
  • I know all about where babies come from. I think. From inside mommies and daddies put them there. Where are they before that? Do you have them in Heaven? How do they get down here? Do you have to take care of them all first? Please answer all my questions…I always think of you. Yours Truly, Susan 
  • Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy. 
  • Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. 
  • Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was suppose to be our day of rest. 
  • I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had 3 stitches and a shot. 
  • If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. Thank You. Love, Denise 
  • Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year. 
  • Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. 
  • I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. 
  • I keep waiting for Spring but it never comes yet. Please don’t forget. 
  • I think the stapler is on of your greatest inventions. 
  • I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. 
  • Of all the people who work for you, I like Peter and John the best. 
  • My brother told me about being born but it sure doesn’t sound right. 
  • If you watch in church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes. 
  • I like the story about Chanuka the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones!! 
  • I would like to live for 900 years like the guy in the bible. 
  • We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So, I bet he stole your idea. 
  • If you would of let the dinosaurs not extinct we would not have a country…I think you did the right thing. 
  • It is great the way you always get the stars in the Right places. 

    Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

 

 


Capalbos - Fruit, Cheese, Wine & Gourmet Food

Program for the Elderly

Program for the Elderly

Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor, FL forwarded the following letter. It was sent to the principal’s office after the school sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to thank them:

Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me.

God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine and I told her to screw off. Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,
Edna Waters

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Doing What You Love

 

 


HerbsPro

Three Blondes and Easter

Sell Art Online

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to
tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.”

St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.”

St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said,
“So, tell me.”

She said,” Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples,when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder…

St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good.”

Then the blonde continued, “Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball.”

St. Peter fainted.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

church and state
There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Questions to Ponder

Questions to Ponder

If a deaf kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn’t a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate freeways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love!

Barnes & Noble

The Generous Lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine
when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver
to stop and he got out to investigate.

“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.

“We don’t have any money for food.” the poor man replied.

“Oh, come along with me then.”

“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”

“Bring them along! And you, come with us too!”, he said to the other man.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children!” the second man answered.

“Bring them as well!” the wealthy lawyer said.

They all climbed into the limo and once underway, one of the poor fellows
says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “My pleasure, the grass in my back yard is about two
feet tall.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The Best of Times

Some Great Useless One Liners

Some Great But Useless One-Liners

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost
and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.

You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world’s population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

Speaking English

Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what
kills you.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The wisdom of our ancestors

Doctor, Doctor

Relax The Back - Tempur Pedic Mattresses

Doctor! Doctor!

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why’s that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
*
Doctor, doctor, my hair’s coming out. Can you give me something to
keep it in?
Certainly – how about a paper bag?
*
Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What’s come over you?
Two cars and a bus!
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a spoon.
Sit there and don’t stir.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time, please.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you.
I can’t. I’m not allowed on the furniture.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times

Sell Art Online