Still Crazy

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic
act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news, he said, “Mary, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being
discharged because – since you were able to jump in and
save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your
senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he’s dead.”

Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

The School House of Life

Advertisements

Sarah and the Truck Driver

Sarah and the Truck
Driver

Sarah had just gotten a new sports car and
was out for a drive when she
accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his
pocket.

He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded Sarah
“stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”.


He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he
turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said,
“Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!”

He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window
in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on
her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out
and slices all her tires.

Now she’s laughing.

The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck
and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns
around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked Sarah.

She replied, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the
circle!

Get streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle

Sarah and the rabbit

Sarah and the
Rabbit

A man was speeding down a back country road,
when he saw a rabbit
hopping in the middle of the road. Although he tried to swerve and miss
it, he hit the rabbit squarely. Being a true animal lover, the man slammed
on his brakes, leapt from his car, and hurried to see if the rabbit was
alright. To his dismay he found the rabbit was dead.

As the man sorrowing over the rabbit’s limp body, he heard another
car
coming. The other car stopped and the driver emerged to see what was
going on. The other driver, Sarah, nudged the rabbit’s limp body
with her toe and remarked that it surely was dead.

The man once again expressed his grief over having killed the poor
innocent animal but the Sarah said not to worry. She ran to her car, dug
around inside, and returned with a spray can.

She sprayed the rabbit’s body and, sure enough, after a few minutes,
the
rabbit stirred, quiverred, and then rose to a crouching position. A moment
later the rabbit started down the road as if nothing had ever
happened.

However, every few feet the rabbit would turn and wave goodbye. The
man
was astounded! He snatched the spray can from Sarah to see just what
kind of magic she had done! The spray can bore the label:
ALBERTO VO5
Restores life to any dead limp hair and gives it a permanent
wave.

Get streams of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.

The Joys of being a Senior Citizen

This is good…really good…The best!

 
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel;
           I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys.  They were not in my pockets. 
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. 
             Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen.  As I burst through the door,
I came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right.  The parking lot was empty.
            I immediately called the police.  I gave them my location, 
confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered;
            > I always call her “honey” in times like these. <
“I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”
 
There was a period of silence.
  I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
                        “Idiot”, she barked, “I dropped you off!” 
Now it was my time to be silent.
 Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”   
She retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not
                                                stolen your car.”
 

Yep, it’s the golden years

The Mother Tongue and How it got That Way

.Get a Chuckle on a regular basis, follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Sailor and the Pirate

 

The Sailor and the Pirate

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting
their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg leg, hook, and eye
patch, the sailor asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg leg?”

The pirate replies “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape
and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out, a
school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the sailor. “What about the hook?”

“Ahhhh…” mused the pirate. “We were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols
blastin’ and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand
got chopped off.”

“Zounds!” remarked the sailor. “And how came ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye,” answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well…” said the pirate, “It was the first day with me hook….”

Coleman Road Trip Grill

Follow me on Kindle

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

 

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

 

Photography Prints

 

The Three Engineers

Three Engineers

Three engineers are riding in a car: an
electrical engineer, a
chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car stalls
and stops by the side of the road. The three engineers look at each
other with bewilderment, wondering what could be wrong.


The electrical engineer, not knowing much about mechanics, suggests,
“Let’s strip down the electronics of the car and try to trace where
a fault might have occurred.”

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about electronics, suggests,
“Maybe the fuel has become emulsified and is causing a blockage
somewhere in the system.”

The Microsoft engineer suggests, “Why don’t we close all the
windows,
get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it will
work.”

See my jokes on Kindle.


Free Shipping!  No Minimum Purchase

Mormon Plane Crash

Mormon Plane Crash

Two men crashed in a private plane on a South Pacific Island: a Mormon and a Presbyterian. Both survived without a scratch.


Tim, the Presbyterian, being a practical fellow, brushed himself
off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any
chance of survival. When he returned, he rushed up to the Mormon and
screamed, “This island is deserted! There is no food or water. We are
going to die!”


Don, the Mormon, leaned back against the body of the wrecked plane,
folded his arms and responded: “No we’re not. I make over $250,000 a
week.”


Presbyterian Tim grabbed his friend and shook him, “Listen to what I
am saying, we are on an uninhabited island. There is no food, no water.
We are going to die!”


Don, unruffled, again responded, “No, I make over $250,000 a week.”


Mystified, Tim was near hysteria. “For the last time, I’m telling you we are doomed. There is no one else on this island. There is no food. There is no water. We are, I repeat, we are going to die a slow and agonizing death!”


Unfazed, Don grabbed the Presbyterian firmly, looked him the in the
eyes, and said firmly: “Hear what I am telling you. Do not make me say
this again. I make over $250,000 per week and I tithe to my church. My bishop will find us!

Gary’s EBooks

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.


RADEDITORSAVEDTAGBEGINNING
amazon_ad_tag=”caribbeanislands-20″;
amazon_ad_width=”300″;
amazon_ad_height=”250″;
amazon_color_border=”206BA2″;
amazon_color_logo=”FFFFFF”;
amazon_color_link=”206BA2″;
amazon_ad_logo=”hide”;
amazon_ad_link_target=”new”;
amazon_ad_title=”The Travel Bugg”; //RADEDITORSAVEDTAGENDING

The Brake Job

The Brake Job

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental
Manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving
down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car
failed.

The car careered almost out of control down the road, bouncing
off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping
along the mountainside. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a
problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no
brakes. What were they to do?

“I know”, said the Departmental Manager, “Let’s have a meeting,
propose a Vision , formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and
by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical
Problems, and we can be on our way.”

“No, no”, said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long,
and besides, that method has never worked before. I’ve got my Swiss Army
knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking
system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”

“Well”, said the Software Engineer, “before we do anything, I think
we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”

Funny? follow me on Kindle

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

Safety Tips

Computers4SURE (4SURE.com - An Office Depot Co.)

Pirate’s Misfortunes

Pirate’s Misfortunes

 A pirate was talking to a “land-lubber” in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg,a hook in place of one of his hands, and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.He asked the pirate, “How did you lose your leg?”

The pirate responded, “I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica !” His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, “What about you hand. Did you lose it at the same time?”

“No,” answered the pirate. “I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys .” Finally, the land-lubber asked, “I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose your eye?”

The pirate answered, “I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye.” The land-lubber asked: “How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?”

The pirate snapped, “It was the day after I got me hook!”

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

Interstate Batteries.com

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

The informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Art Prints