Tax Deductions

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being
audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all
his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as
the accountant pored over them.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have
been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Why would you say that?” wondered the broker.

“Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last
three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern Day Walkabout

The Priest and the Lawyer

There is a truck driver driving along, and he stops and picks up a
priest to give him a ride.

He’s driving down the highway and he sees a lawyer along the side
of the road and thinks, “Hot! A lawyer that I could run over!” So he
speeds up and heads straight for him.

At the last second he remembers the priest with him. So he swerves
real quick to miss him, but still hears a thump. He looks behind, no
sign of the lawyer.

He says to the priest “Wow, that was a close one, I almost hit that
lawyer!”

The priest then replies “That’s ok son, I got him with my door.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Doing What you Love

Basic Rules for Pilots

Basic Rules for Pilots

Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal. 

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.

Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and, therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition, the USAF would just be another expensive flying club.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

If you’re faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

The three most common expressions (aka famous last words) in aviation are: “Why is it doing that?”, “Where are we?”, and “Uh oh.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Miami Florida Party Plate
Miami Florida Party Plate by lifejourneysimages
Look at more Florida Plates at zazzle
alcohol
In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Sell Art Online

The Birds and the Bees

The Birds and the Bees

A father asks his son, age 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees. 

“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Australialife

Journey into The Australian Out Back

A Groaner

A certain man was infatuated with a young
woman, but was so timid he never had the
courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his
therapist that every time he got near her he
felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.

“Well,” his therapist responded, “If you want
to get the girl you’ll just have to be a little
boulder!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Selling Your Images

Blondes in Heaven

Blondes in Heaven

Two Blondes waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

“How’d you die?” the first blonde asked the second.

“I froze to death,” says the second.

“That’s awful,” says the first blonde. “How does it feel to freeze to death?”

“It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second blonde.

“You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?”

“I had a heart attack,” says the first. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.”

The second blonde shakes his head. “What a pity. If only you had looked in the freezer, we’d both still be alive!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

Common Sense from our ancestors

Law school Graduates

Law School Graduates

These were supposedly published by the Massachusetts Bar Association’s Lawyers Journal, listing them as questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.

1. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

2. The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

3. Were you present when your picture was taken?

4. Were you alone or by yourself?

5. Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? 

6. Did he kill you?

7. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

8. You were there until the time you left, is that true?

9. How may times have you committed suicide?

10. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Yes.
And what were you doing at that time?

11. She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there any girls?

12. You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?

13. Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
I went to Europe, Sir.
And you took your new wife?

14. How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?

15. Can you describe the individual?
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Was this a male, or a female?

16. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

17. Doctor, how many autopsies have your performed on dead people?
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

18. All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Oral.

19. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

20. You were not shot in the fracas?
No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

21. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
I have been since early childhood.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Australialife

Spend a month in the Australian Out Back

 

Say What

An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s
hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him,
he wouldn’t respond. The lady went to the doctor to ask
his advice.

The doctor said to her: “When you go home, tell your
husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you
should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants
for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you
until he responds to your question so you know exactly
how far away he is from you when he finally hears you.”

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home,
she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and
yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”


There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer.

Again she yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”
No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where
she was now practically face to face with her husband.

She yelled even louder this time, “HERBERT, what do you
want for dinner?!!”

Herbert yells back at her, “For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated


Photography Prints

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Wedding Dress

All Dressed in White

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle.

Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.

The youngster thought about this for a while.

“So then, why,” she finally asked her mother after putting the pieces together, “is the groom wearing black?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Romantic Quote Plates
Romantic Quote Plates by lifejourneysimages
Look at other Relationship Plates at zazzle.com

The Pet Shop

The Pet Shop

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you have widdle bunny wabbits?”

The shopkeeper’s heart melts, and he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white bunny wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack bunny wabbit? Or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown bunny over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a tiny quiet voice, “I don’t know. I don’t think my boa conthricter givths a thit.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Chipmunk Premium Keepsake Box
Chipmunk Premium Keepsake Box by lifejourneysimages
Shop for Animal Premium Gift Boxes online at Zazzle.com