Nice Guy

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free
speaker-function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, …go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$60,000”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing….the house we
wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just
offer $900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking
at him in astonishment. Then he asks: “Anyone know who this
phone belongs to?”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

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In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Golf Nut

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over
heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a
few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out
when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs,
restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that
Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better
than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise
ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and
waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can tell I’m very much in
love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship
continues to the next stage.

“So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing
question, it’s only fair to warn you: I’m a total golf nut. I play golf,
I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and
breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say
so now!”

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, “Ed, that certainly won’t be a
problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too. But, since we’re
being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last
five years I’ve been a hooker.”

“Oh wow! I see,” Ed replied. He looked down at the table, was quiet
for a moment. Deep in serious thought then he added, “You know, it’s
probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit
the ball….”

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The Golf Bet

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Four golfers who like to gamble wind up in the same foursome. The
pot builds throughout the day until they reach the 18th green, where it
comes down to the last putt. If Charlie makes the 10-foot putt, he wins
the $200 pot.

Charlie lines up his putt, but just as he’s about to take his
stance, a funeral procession begins passing by on the road that runs
alongside the 18th hole.

Charlie steps away from his ball, sets down his putter, takes off his
hat and places it over his heart, and waits in total silence until the
funeral procession is completely passed. Only then does Charlie pick up
his putter and begin lining up the putt again.

“Wow,” one of his opponents says. “That was the most touching thing I
have ever seen. You’ve got a makeable putt for $200, yet you stopped
and paid your respects to a passing funeral procession? I had no idea
you were so sentimental!”

“Well after all,” Charlie says, “we were married for 25 years.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The Sinful Golfer

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A man goes to the confessional and begins, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“What is your sin, my son?” the priest asks back.

“Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible.”

“When did you use this awful language?” asks the priest.

“I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was
going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging
over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only
about 100 yards.”

“Is that when you swore?”

“No, Father,” says the man.

“After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth, and began to run away.”

“Is that when you swore?” asks the priest again.

“Well, no,” says the man. “You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and
began to fly away!”

“Is that when you swore?” asks the amazed priest.

“No, not yet,” the man replies.

Gust Buster Umbrella

“As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward
the green. As it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the
squirrel dropped my ball.”

“Did you swear then?” asks the now impatient priest.

“No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some
bushes, careened off a big rock, rolled through a sand trap onto the
green, and stopped within six inches of the hole.”

The priest sighs. “You missed the putt, didn’t you?”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The Bad Day

Yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor and he asked me what I did yesterday,
So I told him about my day:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from
an angry 14 point buck in the heavy brush, marched up and down a steep hill,

stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped

away from an aggressive rattlesnake, then outran an alligator!”

Inspired by my story, the doctor said,

“You must be an awesome outdoors-man!”

“No,” I replied, “just a bad golfer.“

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The Lucky Golfer

 

A golfer playing in  Ireland  hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little  guy, reviving him.

‘Arrgh! What happened?’  the Leprechaun asked. ‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says.

‘Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.

Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?’

‘Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.’

And the golfer walks off.

‘What  a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself.  I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… a great golf game, all the  money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’

A year goes by and the golfer is back.  On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’

‘My game is fantastic!‘ the golfer answers.  I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds, ‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’ ‘Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’

 

‘Why,  it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. ‘When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out a 100 bills I didn’t even know were there!’

‘I did that fer ye also.’ And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment,  and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’ C’mon, c’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. 

How many times a week?’

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,

‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’ ‘What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock.  ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’

‘Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

 

What’s Their Handicap?

A doctor, a priest and an engineer were trying to enjoy a morning of golf , but they were stuck behind an extremely slow group; those men missed every putt, had a hard time lining up shots, and occasionally even teed off in the wrong direction.

The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys?”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”

The priest said, “Hey, here comes the pro. Let’s have a word with him.”

They signal him over. “Hi, George,” the priest says. “What’s with that group ahead of us? They’re delaying our game.”

The pro replied, “It’s a sad, sad, story. That’s a group of blind firefighters; they lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free.”

The group fell silent in shame.

The priest said, “That’s awful! I will say a special prayer for them tonight and take up a collection with my congregation.”

The doctor added, “I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy to see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

And the engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Old Golfers

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Two Old Golfers

“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered.

“But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”

“But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore,” protested Jack.

“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you,” Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and theball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.

“Do you see it?” asked Jack.

“Yup,” Scott answered.

“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

“I forgot.”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?