Were My Ears
Red!
With both ears very red, Sarah went to her
doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she
answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead
of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But what happened
to your other ear?”
“The idiot called back!”
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Joe
Joe, the CEO’s most trusted assistant, died
in his
sleep one night. The CEO had depended on Joe for
advice on every subject, from sending memos to
wardrobe decisions.
In addition, Joe had been his closest friend.
So, it
was understandable that the CEO didn’t take kindly
to the droves of ambitious job seekers who wanted
Joe’s job.
“They don’t even have the decency to wait
until the
man is buried,” the CEO muttered.
At the funeral, one eager beaver made his
way to the
CEO’s side. “Sir,” the man said, “is there a chance
that I could take Joe’s place?”
“Certainly,” the CEO replied. “But you’d
better hurry.
I think the undertaker is almost finished.”
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Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Bill says, “OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff , I`ll do it.” 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.
Charlie says, “Where did you get that, Bill?” “Steve`s wife gave it to me.”
“That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?”
Bill says,”Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow.`”
She said, “`No, I`m not a widow.”
And I said, “Wanna bet me a six-pack?”
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A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
“Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked.
“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”
“Is that a record?” she inquired.
“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”
Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota,Florida. He has a website featuring more photos and articles and also markets products featuring some of his travel photos.
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A woman phoned her husband at work for a chat.
“Sorry darling.” he said, “I’m really busy at the moment and I haven’t got time to chat.”
“Oh, this won’t take long.It’s just that I’ve got some good news and bad news.”
“Look, he repeated, “I’m really busy,just give me the good news.”
“Well ,” she said,”The air bags work.”
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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions
A huge fire broke out near a farm.The county fire department was called out, but the fire was too large for them to contain,so a call for assistance was made to a part-time volunteer force. The volunteer brigade showed up with a dilapidated old truck which sputtered along the road leading to the fire.
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The county fire chief was about to apologize to the farmer for the embarrassment the volunteer force was causing, when to his amazement, the volunteer truck fearlessly drove into the very heart of the fire. Within minutes, the center of the fire was extinguished, breaking the blaze into two controllable sections. An hour later the entire fire was out.
The farmer was so impressed that he immediately presented the captain of the volunteer force with a check for $1000.
A local newspaperman asked the captain what he was going to spend it on.
He replied,”I’m gonna get the brakes on the damn truck fixed.”
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A car broke down on the expressway. The driver pulled over to the shoulder and jumped out of the car. Then he opened the trunk and pulled out two men in trench coats. The men stood behind the car and began exposing themselves to oncoming traffic. The result was a terrible pile-up.
A police officer arrived on the scene and surveyed the carnage. He raged at the driver,” Why on earth did you put these two perverts at the side of the road?”
The driver explained,”I broke down, and was just using my emergency flashers.”
Now you can follow me on Kindle.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
The wisdom of our ancestors
Now you can follow me on Kindle.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
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