Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire

Sarah appeared on Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire…

Regis: “Sarah, you’ve done very well so
far – $500,000 and one
lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if
you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to
$32,000 — are you ready?”

Sarah: “Sure I’ll have a
go.”

Regis: “Which of the following birds does
not build it’s own nest?
Is it…

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

“Remember, Sarah, it’s worth 1 million
dollars.”

Sarah: “It’s a
cuckoo.”

Regis: “You’re sure? You can walk with
the $500,000 or play on for
the million.”

Sarah: “I want to play, I’ll go with C
– Cuckoo.”

Regis: “Is that your final
answer?”

Sarah: “It is.”

Regis: “Are you
confident?”

Sarah: “Absolutely!”

Regis: “Sarah…..you had $500,000 and
you said C -Cuckoo.
Well….you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here
is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler.
Audience please put your hands together for Sarah.”

That night Sarah calls her friend Carol
and they go to a local
bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne.
Carol turns to Sarah and asks, “Tell me, how did you know that it
was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?”

“It was so simple,” Sarah replied, “Everybody
knows that
cuckoos live in clocks.”

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What do you get

What Do You Get When
You…

What do you get when you put twelve blondes in a freezer?..

..

Frosted Flakes

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Bad News From Santa

Bad News from Santa Claus

To Whom it May Concern:

Mrs. Claus and I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I
will no longer be able to service the Southern United States on
Christmas Eve. Due to overwhelming current population of the earth, my
contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.
I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin
and Michigan.

As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.

However, I’m certain that your children will be in good hands with
your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South pole. He shares my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few
differences between us, including:

1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from
Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that
reads: “These toys insured by Smith & Wesson.”

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children
leave a RC Cola and peanut patty (or a Moon Pie) on the fireplace. And
Bubba doesn’t smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please
have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus’ sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin’ coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
reindeer one time, and Blitzen’s head now overlooks Bubba’s fireplace.

4. You won’t hear “On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen…” when
Bubba Claus arrives. Instead you’ll hear, “On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on
Martin and LaBonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliot and Petty.”

5. “Ho, ho, ho!” has been replaced by “Yee Haw!” And you also are likely to hear Bubba’s elves reply, “I her’d dat!”

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus’ sleigh does
have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words, “Back
Off!”

7. Bubba Claus doesn’t wear a belt. If I were you, I’d make sure you,
the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put
presents under the tree.

8. Bubba Claus refuses to wear the standard issue Santa cap because
he says it makes him look like a girly-boy. He has been granted
permission to wear a white Stetson with a red band instead, as well as
black cowboy boots.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus
(Member, North American Fairies and Elves Local 209)

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Sarah and a Friend on the street

Sarah and a Friend on the
Street

Sarah and a friend were walking down the
street. Sarah noticed a
compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it,
looked in the mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.”

Her friend said, “Let me look!”

So Sarah handed her the compact.

Her friend looked in the mirror and said,
“You dumbie, of course she
looks familiar, it’s me!”

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State Capitols

Photography Prints

State Capitols

Sarah was very upset at all the dumb Sarah
jokes she was repeatedly
hearing. She decided that she would learn all the state capitals in an
effort to defend Sarahs everywhere. She went home and spent the entire
evening learning them all.

The next day, someone at
her office told a dumb Sarah joke and she
immediately retorted, “Hey … I bet I know something that ALL of
you don’t know. I know ALL of the state capitals which proves
that not all Sarahs are dumb.”

The people in her office were somewhat dubious. One of her
co-workers finally asked, “OK … what’s the capital of
Wyoming?”

To which she smugly replied, “W.”

The comic Book encyclopedia.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

The Painter

Sarah the
Painter

Sarah decides one day that she is sick and
tired of all these Sarah
jokes and how all Sarahs are perceived as stupid, so she decides to
show her husband that Sarahs really are smart. While her husband is off
at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the
house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down
to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the
distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife
lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski
jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to
him that not all Sarahs
are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
and a fur coat on.

She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they
said,
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

masonic

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Driving on the Freeway

Sarah on the
Freeway

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding
car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that Sarah, behind the
wheel, was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
“PULL OVER!”

“NO,” Sarah yelled back, “IT’S A
SCARF!”

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Sarah and the Truck Driver

Sarah and the Truck
Driver

Sarah had just gotten a new sports car and
was out for a drive when she
accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his
pocket.

He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded Sarah
“stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”.


He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he
turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said,
“Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!”

He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window
in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on
her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out
and slices all her tires.

Now she’s laughing.

The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck
and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns
around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked Sarah.

She replied, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the
circle!

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Sarah and Trivial Pursuit

Sell Art Online

Sarah and Trivial
Pursuit

Sarah was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She
rolled the dice, and she landed on “Science & Nature.”

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear
it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or
off?”

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 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Tourists

Sarah and the
Tourists

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching
Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the
town.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood
at
the counter, one tourist asked Sarah, the employee, “Before we order,
could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce
where we are… very slowly?”

Sarah leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr,
Kiiiiing.”

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