Redneck IQ Test
From a buddy who grew up in West Virginia. He sent it with the
comment, “I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in
the South. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam!”
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) ’65 Ford Fairlane
( ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or
(C) ’64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required
to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.
The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
6. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow
with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown children place a mobile home on the man’s land and still have
enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.
The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn’t ya?
It’s okay if’n ya didn’t do all that well. Just goes to show
ya…There’s a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don’t
prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the “Redneck IQ Test”, here’s some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece: Next time
you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an
order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with em.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com
You can also follow him on your Kindle.