Just A Wee Bit

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry an extraordinarily beautiful woman so they could produce gorgeous children beyond compare.

With that as his mission, he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters, that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

“Well,” the Redneck simply replied, “they’re all lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Why don’t you look ’em over and pick the one you want?”

The man was ecstatic and decided to take each one out to dinner to size them all up. The first night he dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man’s opinion.

“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a wee bit — not that you can hardly notice — pigeon-toed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

“Well,” the man replied, “she’s just a wee bit — not that you can hardly tell — cross-eyed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect! She’s the one I want to marry.”

The redneck gave his blessing, so the couple was wed immediately. Months later their first baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

“Well,” explained the Redneck, “she was just a wee bit — not that you could hardly tell — pregnant when you met her.”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health,increase your wealth

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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The Fable of the Woodcutter

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Katherine Heigl. “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked. “Yes!” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You liar! That is not your wife!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Katherine Heigl, You would have come up with Cameron Diaz. Then if I also said ‘no’ to her, You would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given all three to me. Lord, I am a poor man, and I am not able to take care of all three wives, so that’s why I said ‘yes’ to Katherine Heigl!”

The Moral of this story: Anytime a man lies, it is for good and honorable reasons and for the benefit of others.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health,increase your wealth

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times, there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook ,the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

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Secrets of a Long Marriage

Secrets To A Long Marriage

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband shyly stood and turned to the audience: “Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions.”

The minister inquired, “Trips to where?”

“Well,” the man says, “for our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China.”

An appreciative murmer went up in the congregation.

The minister then said, “What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the brethren what you’re going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?”

“Big plans!” he said with a smile. “I’m headin’ back to Beijing to pick her up!”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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The Efficiency Expert

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: “You do not want to try these techniques at home!”

“Why not?” asked a man from the audience.

“After years of not paying attention, I suddenly noticed my wife’s routine at breakfast,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table, and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.”

“What did you do?” the man in the audience asked.

“I said, ‘Hon, Why don’t you try carrying several things at once? It’d be much more efficient.'”

“Well, did your suggestions save much time?” the attendee asked.

“Actually, yes,” the efficiency expert said. “It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

The Difference Between Men and Women

A Difference between Men and Women

On Friendship between women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

The man called his wife’s 10 best friends.

None of them knew about it.

 

On Friendship between men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.

The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over. And two claimed that he was still there!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

A Modern Day Walkabout

The Lie Detector Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot; it slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out on his son at supper. 

“Where were you last night?”

“I was at the library.”

robot slaps son

“OK, OK,” the boy says, rubbing his arm. “I was at Jerry’s house.”

“Doing what?” asks the mother.

“Watching a movie. Toy Story.”

robot slaps son

“OK, it was porn!” cried the son.

Father yells: “What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!”

robot slaps the father

The mother laughs and says, “He certainly is your son!”

robot slaps the mother

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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

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In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Love,Lust,Marriage

Love, Lust and Marriage

Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-lit dinner for two
Lust: Do I have to buy you dinner first?
Marriage: 4 McDonald’s Happy Meals — to go 

Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids’ candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: Remember sex? Me either.

Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: You smell French perfume
Lust: You smell Brut aftershave
Marriage: You smell evidence that the baby needs changing…

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when she is cold
Lust: I can think of a way to stay warm…
Marriage: Your teenage daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover’s Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids asking, “Are we there yet?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

My Turn

My Turn.

via My Turn.

The Assassin

A few months ago there was an opening with
the CIA for an assassin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill and there’s a lot of
testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered
for the position. After sending some applicants through the background
checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to
2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.

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The day came for the final test to see which person would get the
extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of
the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that
you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances” they
explained. “Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Take this gun and kill her.” The man got a shocked look on his face and
said, “You can’t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!” “Well”, says
the CIA man, “Your definitely not the right man for the job
then.”

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun.
“We
must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the
circumstances”, they explained to the second man. “Inside you will find
your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The second
man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the
room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the door opened. The man
came out of the room with tears in his eyes. “I tried to shoot her, I
just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I not the
right man for the job.” “No” the CIA man replied, “You don’t have what
it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Now they’re down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to
the
same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. “We must be
sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,
this
is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a
chair. Take this gun and kill him.”

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even
closed
all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One shot after
another for 13 shots. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls. This went on for several minutes, then all was
quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the
sweat
from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with
blanks! I had to beat him to death with a chair!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website: www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Mowing the Grass

Last summer, when the power mower was broken
and wouldn’t run, Jane kept
hinting to Dick, her husband, that he needed to get it fixed, but somehow
the
message wasn’t sinking in.

She finally thought of a clever way to make the point. When Dick
arrived
home that day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily clipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

He watched silently for a short time, then went into the house. Jane
thought
she had again failed to get his attention. Well, he was gone only a few
moments, and when he came out again he handed her a toothbrush saying,
“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
sidewalks.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website. www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.