My Dog Died

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.”

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too.”

The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”

“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.

“Well,”the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

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masonic

Throughout man’s long history on earth,there has been one group of people who have carried the torch of liberty and freedom throughout the ages , from time immemorial until the present day. In these days their counsel is need more than ever.

 

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Thank God, It’s Friday

A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,
“T-G-I-F” (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T” (letters
only).” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He
acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and
said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical
expression, “S-H-I-T.”
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said,
“T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”
The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota,Florida. He has a website featuring  more photos and articles and also markets products featuring some of his travel photos.


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Wrong Number

                                                                     

                                                                                                WRONG NUMBER

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.

“Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” she inquired.

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”

Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota,Florida. He has a website featuring  more photos and articles and also markets products featuring some of his travel photos.

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Florial Business and the Friars

The Friars of the Floral Business

Some Friars were behind on their belfry payments

, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the Friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the Friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the Friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close shop.

Terrified, the Friars did so – thereby proving that . . .

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist Friars.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

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Sarah Palin’s Hunting Trip

The November election is now just a memory.

The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can kiss and make up. But that they do!

Governor Sarah Palin, who ran for Vice President on John McCain’s Republican ticket, is doing her part to do just that. For example, she has invited the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, to visit her great state of Alaska, now that she has more time after resigning from her post.

To celebrate her new-found freedom from the toils of office, she has set up a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and hired three prominent experts in their field to assist them:

  • Dick Cheney will lead them on the hunt
  • Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins each evening, and
  • Bill Clinton will entertain their wives and daughters.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

best of times

 

The Devil in Church

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared
before a small town congregation

. Everyone started screaming and
running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic
effort to get away.

Soon,
everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run?”

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

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Gifts from the Islands

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Republican Dogs

A large Democrat meeting was held in a county seat in Indiana, which was attended by a small boy who had four young puppy dogs which he offered for sale.
 Finally, one in the crowd ,approaching the boy, asked, ” Are these Democrat pups my son?”
“yes, Sir.” He replied.
“Well, Then,” He Said,” I’ll take these two.”
About a week later the Republicans held a meeting at the same place, and among the crowd was to be seen the same boy and his  two remaining pups.
 He tried for hours to  obtain a purchaser , and finally was approached by a Republican and asked :” My lad , what kind of pups are these you have?”
“They’re Republican pups, sir.”
The Democrat who had purchased the first two happened to be in ear shot and broke out at the boy:
“See here, you young rascal, didn’t you tell me that those pups I bought from you last week were Democrats?”
“Y-e-s, sir,” said the young dog-merchant: “but these pups aren’t , they’ve got their eyes open!”

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As High as the Empire State Building

                                                                                  

    Higher than the Empire State Building

“Can you name an animal that has eyes and cannot see, legs and cannot walk, but can jump as high as the Empire State Building?” Asked the life of the party.
Everybody racked their brains during a period of deep silence and finally gave up.
“The answer”, he said, “is a wooden horse, it has eyes and cannot see, and legs and cannot walk.”
“Yes,” someone said, “But how does it jump as high as the Empire State Building?”
“The Empire State Building,” he explained,” cannot jump.”

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Display of Authority

Display of Authority

A
Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and
talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your
ranch for your water allocation.

The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The Water representative says, “Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher’s bull. The bull
is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified.

So the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence
and yells at the top of his lungs….”Your card! Show him Your card!”

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