Praise the Lord

Art Prints

There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted:
“PRAISE THE LORD!”

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He
became irritated at the little old lady. Everymorning he’d
step onto his front porch after her and yell:
“THERE IS NO LORD!”

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way
every day. One morning, in the middle of winter, the little
old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted:
“PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I
am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!

The next morning she stepped onto her porch and
there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
“PRAISE THE LORD!” she cried out. “HE HAS PROVIDED
GROCERIES FOR ME!”

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted:
“THERE IS NO LORD. I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!”

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted:
“PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH
GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Beautiful Mornings Post Cards
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The Punk

Wanna Bet?

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said.

“Like what?” the punk replied.

“I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back,” the experienced man said.

All the other older men looked on with a mixture of “uh oh” and admiration on their faces, not sure what was up his sleeve. But that didn’t faze the braggart.

“You’re on, old man,” the strapping young man replied. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right, punk. Get in.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors.


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Redneck IQ Test

Redneck IQ Test

From a buddy who grew up in West Virginia. He sent it with the
comment, “I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in
the South. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam!”

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) ’65 Ford Fairlane
( ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or
(C) ’64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required
to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre.
The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow
with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown children place a mobile home on the man’s land and still have
enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.
The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn’t ya?
It’s okay if’n ya didn’t do all that well. Just goes to show
ya…There’s a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don’t
prepare ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the “Redneck IQ Test”, here’s some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece: Next time
you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an
order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with em.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Wisdom from Seniors

Wisdom From
Seniors

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and
all bran?
*
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling
apart.
*
Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
*
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
*
If all is not lost, where is it?
*
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
*
The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop
digging.
*
I tried to get a life once, But they told me they were out of
stock.
*
I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway
though.
*
It was so different before everything changed.
*
Some day’s you’re the dog, and some day’s you’re the
hydrant.
*
Nostalgia isn’t what it use to be.
*
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay
resident.
*
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
*
I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
*
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
cause
kids.
*
It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at
the end.
*
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been
anywhere.
*
Living on Earth is expensive, But it does include a trip around the
sun.
*
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if your in the
bathroom.
*
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my
knees.
*
Never knock on death’s door, ring the bell and run (he hates
that).
*
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way
myself).
*
When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess.
*
If you are living on the edge, make sure your wearing your
seatbelt.
*
There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the
dead.
*
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other
toys.
*
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
*
Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
*
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better
attorney.
*
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.

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Art Prints

Dress Codes for Baby Boomers

Photography Prints

Dress Code for Baby Boomers

Now that the Boomer generation is getting …um… older,
it’s time to help them realize that there are certain combinations of
things that just don’t go together in today’s fashion world. Boomers are
strongly urged to avoid the following:

  • Nose rings and bifocals.
  • Spiked hair among bald spots.
  • Pierced tongues …and dentures.
  • Miniskirts over support hose.
  • Ankle bracelets with corn pads.
  • Speedos over cellulite.
  • Belly button rings near gall bladder surgery scars.
  • Unbuttoned disco shirts …showing a pacemaker bulge.
  • Midriff shirts when you have midriff bulges.
  • Bikinis when you have liver spots.
  • Short shorts revealing varicose veins.
  • Inline skates and walkers.

And, very importantly:

  • Thongs with Depends.

Avoid tragedy! Send the link to this page to a Boomer you love today.

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inspirational Quotes

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Enlightenment
At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth

The Tourists

Sarah and the
Tourists

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching
Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the
town.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood
at
the counter, one tourist asked Sarah, the employee, “Before we order,
could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce
where we are… very slowly?”

Sarah leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr,
Kiiiiing.”

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The Diet

Sarah and the
Diet

Sarah is terribly overweight, so her doctor
puts her on a diet. “I
want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and
repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll
have lost at least five pounds.”

When Sarah returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my
instructions?”

Sarah nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to
drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?”

“No, from skipping.”

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What I’ve Learned

What I’ve
Learned…

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because
she cries when we sing “Silent
Night” – Age 6

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either- Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what

they are doing and wave back – Age 9

I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me

clean it up again – Age 12

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try

cheering someone else up – Age 14

I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my

parents are strict with me – Age 15

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of

advice – Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great

pleasures – Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed

me there – Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live

so that no one will believe it – Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know

how to show it – Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a

little note – Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his

or her need to cast blame on others – Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies – Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life

does go on, and it will be better tomorrow – Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours –

Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the

phone – Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles

these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree
lights – Age 52

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet

full of pills – Age 52

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you

miss them terribly after they die – Age 53

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life


Age 58

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children,

work to improve your marriage – Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance – Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on

both hands You need to be able to throw something back – Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But if you

focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people,
and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you – Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually

make the right decision – Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer – Age 72

I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles And to tell the truth,

I’ve seen several – Age 75

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one – Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone People

love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on
the back – Age 85

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn – Age 92

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about

Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile –
Age
less

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Tips for staying Young

Tips For Staying
Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes
age, weight
and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you
pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches
pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the
computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind
is the devil’s workshop;” the devil’s name is
Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children
are young,
that is all that you can afford. When they are in college,
that is all that you can afford. When you are on retirement,
that is all that you can afford!

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until
you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your
distinctive laughter.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and
move on. The only
person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be alive
while you are alive, don’t put out a mailbox on the highway
of death and just wait in residence for your mail.

7. Surround yourself with what you love,
whether it is family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your
home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good,
preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get
help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Go to the mall,
the next county, a
foreign country, but not to guilt country.

10. Tell the people you love, that you
love them, at every
opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER, Life is not measured
by the
number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take
our breath away.

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Perspectives on Aging

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Perspectives on
Aging

“How old would you be if you didn’t know
how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of
finding
a sickness you like.” – Jackie Mason

 

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes
alone.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, … it
doesn’t
matter. – Mark Twain

Age only matters if you’re cheese.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway;
the
good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the
difference!
The Calvin and Hobbs Lazy Sunday Book
He who laughs, lasts.

I’ve gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid
before
I can ask where I left my glasses.

I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
hurt.

Art Prints
If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the
right
places.

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00
PM.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves
completely.

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and
skill.

The big thing today is computer dating. If you don’t know how to run
a
computer it really dates you.

The golden years: When actions creak louder than
words.

There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that twenty years
or so
won’t cure.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world, When looking back in history, I soon discovered this has always been a problem, Benjamin Franklin once said, ”Of all the senses, common sense seems to be the one that is used the least.” As obvious as it may seem, many seem to be totally oblivious to it. Most, if not all of the problems the world faces today could be solved if people would just sit back and think about what would seem to be the most obvious and simple solution to any issue. Often times people tend to overcomplicate the issues. I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice. It is now evident they were a lot smarter than we gave them credit for. Many times, in today’s world, the schools and universities can no longer be counted on to teach truth and values that will guide someone through life.

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