Heaven or Hell

Photography Prints

 

The Senator’s Decision

– – –

While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. His face falls, he begins to cry . . .

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were shooting the TV campaign ads. And this morning you voted!”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

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reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

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Cutting the Firewood

The phone rings at KGB headquarters.

“Hello?” “Hello, is this KGB?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

 

“I’m calling to report my neighbor
Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the
State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood.”

“This will be noted.”

Next day, the KGB goons come over to
Rabinovitz’s house. They search the
shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no
diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinovitz’s house.

“Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?”

“Yes.”

“Did they chop your firewood?”

“Yes, they did.”

“Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I
need my vegetable patch plowed.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com
.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Photography Prints

A Kids View of Elections

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An Elementary Look at Campaigns and Elections

Kids explain elections,. You’ll especially like the last
one….

– – –

Did you ever think what I used to think about candidates running neck-and-neck? Well it is not true.

Universal suffrage means that even the illegible get to vote.

Calling a person a runner-up is the polite way of saying they lost.

What I learned about elections is that we aren’t really getting to
elect the president. It is some people in a college who get to. I have
not decided what to do about it yet but I am not going to just sit
around.

It is possible to get the majority of electoral votes without getting
the majority of popular votes. Anyone who can ever understand how this
works gets to be president.

Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because they became president.

The more I think about trying to run for president the less I think of it.

The president has the power to appoint and disappoint the members of his cabinet.

Much has been said about balancing the budget. It has been found that the budget is more talkable than balanceable.

The campaign is when the candidate tells what he stand for and the
election is when the votes tell if they can stand for his being elected.

In January, the president makes his Inaugural Address after he has been sworn at.

Once he is elected, sometimes the president has to work 24 hours a day until he finds out what he is supposed to do.

The nominees are usually called candidates or campaigners although I have heard them called other things.

One of the strictest rules is all dark horses running for president must be people.

Popular votes tell who is the most popular. Electoral votes tell who is the most elected.

Noncommittal is to be able to talk and talk without saying anything.

A dark horse is a candidate that the delegates don’t know enough about to dislike yet.

Political science is to try to figure out what makes candidates act that way.

When they talk about the most promising presidential candidate, they mean the one who can think of the most things to promise.

Elephants and donkeys never fought until politics came along.

We are learning how to make our election results known quicker and
quicker. It is our campaigns we are having trouble getting any shorter.

One of the mainest rules of campaigning is you are not allowed to go on a whistle-stop tour without a train.

Speaking of defeat, candidates are told never to.

and…

Campaigns give us a great deal of happiness by their finally ending.

Into thin air, the book.

Fill your Kindle with laughs!

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions

Keep your beer cold photo
Keep your beer cold photo by lifejourneysimages
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His Name was Fleming

His Name Was Farmer Fleming

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish
farmer.

One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard
a
cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran
to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified
boy, screaming and struggling to free himself.
Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what
could have been a slow and
terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and
introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had
saved.

“I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son’s
life.”

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“No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish
farmer
replied, waving off the offer.



At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family
hovel.

“Is that your son?” the nobleman asked.

“Yes,” the farmer replied proudly.

“I’ll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good
education.

If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll grow to a man you can
be proud of.”


And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming’s son graduated
from St.
Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become
known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming,
the discoverer of Penicillin.

Give me liberty print
Give me liberty print by lifejourneysimages
Shop for Liberty Posters online at Zazzle.com

Years afterward, the nobleman’s son was stricken with
pneumonia.
What saved him? Penicillin.


The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph
Churchill.


His son’s name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Have a steady supply of wit and wisdom delivered to your Kindle.
 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated

masonic

Throughout man’s long history on earth,there has been one group of people who have carried the torch of liberty and freedom throughout the ages , from time immemorial until the present day. In these days their counsel is need more than ever.

 

The Barber Shop

The Barbershop

(Passing this along exactly as I got it….)

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he
asks the barber about his bill. “I’m sorry, I can’t accept money from
you. I’m doing community service this week.”

The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. The next morning when
the barber goes to open his shop, there’s a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his door.

Later that day a cop comes in for a haircut and he also goes to pay
the barber, and the barber replies: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept money
from you. I’m doing community service this week.”

The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber
goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts
waiting at his door.

Later that day a Democrat comes for a haircut and when he asks the
barber what he owes, the barber replies: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept
money from you. I’m doing community service this week.”

The Democrat is very happy and leaves. The next morning when the
barber goes to open his shop, there are a dozen Democrats waiting at his
door.

Get your chuckles on Kindle.


Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has
cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many
friends and supporters.

They know he is a lying cheat, but they
just avoid the issue. He
is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was
wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so
long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.
Signed Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are a New York Senator, you
don’t need him anymore.

Now you can follow me on Kindle


120x60 St. Patrick's Day

 

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

America

The Hot Air Balloon

Where Am I?

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,”Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. Plus, you’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now it’s my fault!”

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Obama, McCain and Hillary All Die And Go To Heaven

Obama, McCain and  Hillary All Die And Go To Heaven

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven.God looks down from his throne and asks McCain , “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”

McCain takes a breath and then replies, “Well, I think so because I was agreat leader and tried to follow the words in your great book .” God looks down and then says, “You can sit to my left side.”

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?” Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, “I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long.” God again looks down and this time says, “You can sit to my right side.”

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”

Obama smiled and replied, “I think you’re in my seat

Toast 10

Presidents of the United States

The last four U.S. Presidents

 are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off
they spin to the Land of OZ . After threatening trials and
tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before
the Great Wizard.

“WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I had a terrible time with Iran, so
I’ve come for some courage.”


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“No problem” says the Wizard, “WHO IS NEXT?” Barack Obama steps
forward, “Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain.” “Done” says the
Wizard.

“Who comes next before the Great Wizard?” Up steps George Bush sadly,
“I’m told by
the American people that I need a heart.”

“I’ve heard it’s true” says the Wizard. “Consider it done.”

Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there,
looking around, but doesn’t say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD
CITY!?”

And Bill replies – “Is Dorothy around?”

Sarah Palin’s Hunting Trip

The November election is now just a memory.

The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can kiss and make up. But that they do!

Governor Sarah Palin, who ran for Vice President on John McCain’s Republican ticket, is doing her part to do just that. For example, she has invited the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, to visit her great state of Alaska, now that she has more time after resigning from her post.

To celebrate her new-found freedom from the toils of office, she has set up a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and hired three prominent experts in their field to assist them:

  • Dick Cheney will lead them on the hunt
  • Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins each evening, and
  • Bill Clinton will entertain their wives and daughters.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

best of times