The Blonde Grandma

Art Prints

Old Granny went to her doctor to see what could be  done about her constipation.

“It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”

“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.

“Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night.”

“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”

“Naturally,” she answered, “I take a book.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times : A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

Redneck Medical Terms

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign…………….What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria……………Back door to cafeteria.

Barium……………..What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section…….A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan…………….Searching for the cat.

Cauterize……….Made eye contact with her.

Colic……………A sheep dog.

Coma……………A punctuation mark.

D&C…………….Where Washington is.

Dilate………….To live longer than your kids do.

Enema………….Not a friend.

Fester…………Quicker than someone else.

Fibula…………A small lie.

G.I.Series………World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail………..What you hang your coat on.

Impotent……Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain……….Getting hurt at work.

Morbid…………..A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates………..Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff…….A Doctor’s cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node………………..I knew it.

Outpatient…………..A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear…………….A fatherhood test.

Pelvis……………….Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative………..A letter carrier.

Recovery Room….Place to do upholstery.

Secretion…….Hiding something.

Tablet……….A small table to change babies on.

Seizure……….Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness….Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor……………More than one.

Urine……………Opposite of mine.

Varicose…………Near by.

Hospital…………The biggest building in town, other than Joe’s feed
warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern day walkabout

Key To Staying Healthy

You’re in incredible shape,” the doctor said. “How old are you again?”

“I am 78.” The man said. “78?” asked the doctor. “How do you stay so
healthy? You look like a 60 year old.”

“Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married
that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool
off and I would go outside to settle down.” the man explained.

“What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.

“I’ve pretty much lived an outdoor life.”

Art Prints

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

Still Crazy

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic
act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news, he said, “Mary, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being
discharged because – since you were able to jump in and
save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your
senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he’s dead.”

Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

The School House of Life

Doctor’s Orders

A woman went to a doctors’ office and was seen by
one of the new doctors.

But after about 4 minutes in the examination room,
she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the
problem was, and when she explained, he had her sit
down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and
demanded, ‘What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry
is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT??

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write
on his clipboard. ‘Cured her hiccups though, didn’t I?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

The School House of Life

The Mud Bath

A man goes into his doctors office for an annual
physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and
says, “I’m sorry Bill, but we have discovered you
have a condition which only allows you another 6
weeks to live.”

“But Doctor,” Bill replied, “I feel great. I
haven’t felt better in years. This just can’t be
true. Isn’t there anything I can do?”

After a moment the doctor said, “Well, you might
start going down the street to that new health spa
and take a mud bath every day.”

Excitedly Bill asked, “And that will cure me?”

“No,” Replied the doctor, “but it will get you
used to the dirt.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Patient’s Charts

The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient charts.

“Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”

“On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared
completely.”

“The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”

“The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.”

“Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”

“Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”

“The patient refused an autopsy.”

“Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.”

“Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”

“Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.”

“She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.”

“She is numb from her toes down.”

“While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”

“The skin was moist and dry.”

“Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”

“Patient was alert and unresponsive.”

“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.”

“I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.”

“The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.”

“Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”

“Skin: Somewhat pale but present.”

“Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on
the abdomen, and I agree.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The wisdom of our ancestors


Take The Pill

Doctor: “Take the green pill with a glass of water
when you get up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses
of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed,
take the red pill with another glass of water.”

Man: “Exactly what’s my problem, doc?”

Sell Art Online

Doctor: “You’re not drinking enough water.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

To Women everywhere, from the Men who have had enough!

(And by the way: this was sent to me by a woman.)

  • If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us anymore — we refuse to answer.
  • Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. And don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such subjects as belly button lint or monster trucks.
  • Sunday equals sports. It’s like the full moon or the tides: there’s nothing you can do about it. And shopping isn’t a sport, never was a sport and never will be a sport.
  • When we’re going out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Just fine. The first thing you put on. Truly. Now let’s get going already!
  • You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Most guys own just 3 pairs of shoes. Why do you think we’d be any good at choosing which of your 30 pairs goes well with that dress?
  • Crying is blackmail. Blackmail is cheating. Men don’t like people who cheat. See “Sports”.
  • Just come out and ask for what you want. Let’s be absolutely clear on this point: Subtle hints don’t work, strong hints don’t work, really obvious hints don’t work. If you’re really serious about it, just come right out and ask us. And by the way, the answer is probably “no”.
  • We don’t know what day it is, and never will. Write all birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions in bright red on the calendar, and make sure we see it.
  • Trust me on this, standing up while peeing makes it much harder to aim. We’re bound to miss sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that recurs every night is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless there’s fighting in it.
  • Check your dang oil. And if your car makes a “funny noise”, say something now — don’t wait until it gets worse. Remember: it always gets worse.
  • It is not in your best interest or ours to take that magazine quiz together. It doesn’t matter which magazine or which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument and all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. Really.
  • Ogling is genetic in males. It doesn’t mean we love you less. As my old friend Rich used to say, “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.” Just be glad we have an appetite, OK?
  • You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • All men see in about 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. And life is easier if you bunch all those “eggshell” colors into “pretty much white.”
  • When it itches, it will be scratched. Live with it.
  • Know how you feel about handbags? That’s how we feel about beer.
  • If we ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing”, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying — it’s just not worth the hassle to dig it out of you. So if you have something to say, just say it!
  • Finally, if we’ve settled an argument, it’s settled, OK? Don’t start it all over again later. If it’s not settled in your mind, don’t agree to the settlement the first time.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

A very confident Marine Corps Pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

The Pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Fighter Pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.