Dear Abby

Dear Abby II

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be 20 next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like? CAROL

DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.

DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible? KAY

DEAR KAY: Only if they don’t work.

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a 10-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.

DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? JAKE

DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.

DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is 73 and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE

DEAR ANNIE: Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? SAM IN CAL.

DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.

DEAR ABBY: I am 44 years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. ROSE

DEAR ROSE: So would I.

DEAR ABBY: What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS

DEAR BESS: Night and Day.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Do What You Love, Make Money

 


The Photography SuperStore - DigitalRev

The Blonde Grandma

Art Prints

Old Granny went to her doctor to see what could be  done about her constipation.

“It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”

“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.

“Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night.”

“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”

“Naturally,” she answered, “I take a book.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times : A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

To Women everywhere, from the Men who have had enough!

(And by the way: this was sent to me by a woman.)

  • If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us anymore — we refuse to answer.
  • Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. And don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such subjects as belly button lint or monster trucks.
  • Sunday equals sports. It’s like the full moon or the tides: there’s nothing you can do about it. And shopping isn’t a sport, never was a sport and never will be a sport.
  • When we’re going out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Just fine. The first thing you put on. Truly. Now let’s get going already!
  • You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Most guys own just 3 pairs of shoes. Why do you think we’d be any good at choosing which of your 30 pairs goes well with that dress?
  • Crying is blackmail. Blackmail is cheating. Men don’t like people who cheat. See “Sports”.
  • Just come out and ask for what you want. Let’s be absolutely clear on this point: Subtle hints don’t work, strong hints don’t work, really obvious hints don’t work. If you’re really serious about it, just come right out and ask us. And by the way, the answer is probably “no”.
  • We don’t know what day it is, and never will. Write all birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions in bright red on the calendar, and make sure we see it.
  • Trust me on this, standing up while peeing makes it much harder to aim. We’re bound to miss sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that recurs every night is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless there’s fighting in it.
  • Check your dang oil. And if your car makes a “funny noise”, say something now — don’t wait until it gets worse. Remember: it always gets worse.
  • It is not in your best interest or ours to take that magazine quiz together. It doesn’t matter which magazine or which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument and all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. Really.
  • Ogling is genetic in males. It doesn’t mean we love you less. As my old friend Rich used to say, “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.” Just be glad we have an appetite, OK?
  • You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • All men see in about 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. And life is easier if you bunch all those “eggshell” colors into “pretty much white.”
  • When it itches, it will be scratched. Live with it.
  • Know how you feel about handbags? That’s how we feel about beer.
  • If we ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing”, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying — it’s just not worth the hassle to dig it out of you. So if you have something to say, just say it!
  • Finally, if we’ve settled an argument, it’s settled, OK? Don’t start it all over again later. If it’s not settled in your mind, don’t agree to the settlement the first time.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

Love,Lust,Marriage

Love, Lust and Marriage

Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-lit dinner for two
Lust: Do I have to buy you dinner first?
Marriage: 4 McDonald’s Happy Meals — to go 

Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids’ candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: Remember sex? Me either.

Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: You smell French perfume
Lust: You smell Brut aftershave
Marriage: You smell evidence that the baby needs changing…

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when she is cold
Lust: I can think of a way to stay warm…
Marriage: Your teenage daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover’s Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids asking, “Are we there yet?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

The Snow Plows Must get Through

The Plows Must Get Through!

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over
breakfast. They hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10
inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side
of the street so the snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out
and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast and again, the radio
announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the
snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car
again.

The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must
park—” and right then the power goes out.

Norman’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, “Sweetie, why don’t you just go
ahead and leave it in the garage just this once?”

If you like, your can get multiple chuckles weekly on your Kindle.

You’ve Come a Long Way Baby

You’ve Come a Long Way
Baby

Barbara Walters had done a story on gender
roles in Kuwait several
years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait
recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind
their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. “This
is
marvelous,” she said. “What enabled women here to achieve this
reversal of roles?”

The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”

I post jokes several times a week, now you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints

Woman’s Dictionary

The Women’s
Dictionary

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally
becomes when pulled over
by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re
right,
but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, “made the dinner”.

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can
understand
them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat
socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go
with a pound of M&M chocolate covered
peanuts.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football
game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See also
“Magician”.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in
space…if
he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, “Focus… breath…
push… Good Girl!”

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere
romantic”. After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also
“tranquilizers.”

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of
a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove
it.

Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone male to
take
out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions

Why Women Have it so Easy

Why Women Have It So
Easy

This week, I am at home and playing house
husband. My wife left a list
of things I need to do. This is so easy, I thought I would share it with
you.

1. Make the beds. What a waste
of effort, we’re only going to sleep in
them again tonight. Forget that. Scratch one.

2. Pick up dog poop in yard. It snowed last night, I don’t see any
dog
poop, kids do you see any dog poop? Scratch
two.

3. Drop your shirts off at the cleaners. Duh, I’m on vacation, I
don’t
need them. Scratch three.

This is easy! What’s the fuss? Think I’ll go on AOL for a
while.

4. Clean out Tupperware cabinet. Uh, that’s a hard one. Got it!
Velcro
on the door will keep them closed. Scratch
four.

5. Mop kitchen floor. The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast,
floor looks clean to me. Scratch five.

6. Find something fun for the kids to do. That tinfoil in the microwave
thing was kinda fun. Scratch six.

This is way too easy. I’ll have lots of time for
AOL.

7. Vacuum the carpets. That a hard one. Hey kids, wanna have some
more
fun? Scratch seven.

8. Feed kids lunch. Hey kids, don’t you have a friend’s house to go
to?
Yes! Scratch eight!

9. Clean out hallway closet. Hm, another hard one. That’s it, take
enough out of the closet to close the door. Out of sight, out of mind.
Hm, this other stuff can go under a bed. Scratch
nine.

Boy, oh boy, am I good. Lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker
bag
and eat. Tada! no lunch dishes!

10. Do laundry. No problem, I can do that while I’m on AOL. Scratch
ten.

11. Fold laundry. Ya know, I never noticed how many pink things this
family actually wears. Gonna have to ask the little lady why she buys me
pale pink underwear. Check this out, a cashmere Barbie sweater. Cool.
Scratch eleven.

12. Put the laundry away. Baskets in bedrooms work for me. Scratch
twelve. This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about
house
work?

13. Water the Christmas tree. Oops! Good thing the carpet is
absorbent.
Scratch thirteen.

14. Grocery shopping. Buy toilet paper. These old newspapers will
do,
besides, that’s recycling and that’s good for the Earth. Scratch

fourteen.


15. Pick up the kids. Yeah right; we’re talking about my kids here.
Parents will normally pay to drop them back off. They’ll be back.
Scratch fifteen.

Wonder who’s on AOL. Aw, I have plenty of
time.

16. Make dinner. Easy, “Hello do you deliver? Uh, double that, ya
know
we will need more dinner tomorrow.” Scratch
sixteen.

17. Clean out the dog house. Duh, the dog sleeps in our bed. Like
that
needs to be done. Scratch seventeen.

Wow, all done. Still time for some AOL and a nap. Man, this is so
easy.
Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they’re
working. Wish I was a chick!

Credence Clearwater Revival :Greatest Hits.

I regularly post jokes several times a week, you can now follow me on Kindle.

Art Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

 

Why Dogs are Better than Wives

Why Dogs Are Better Than
Wives

Dogs don’t cry.

*
Dogs love it when your friends come
over.

*
Dogs don’t care if you use their
shampoo.

*
Dogs think you sing great.

*
A dog’s time in the bathroom is limited to a quick
drink.

*
Dogs don’t expect you to call them when you’re running
late.

*
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see
you.

*
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other
dogs.

*
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dogs
name.

*
Dogs are excited by rough play.

*
Dogs don’t mind if you give their
offspring away.

*
Dogs can appreciate excess body
hair.

*
Anyone can get a good looking
dog.

*
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t
hate it.

*
Dogs don’t shop.

*
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on
the floor.

*
Dogs never need to examine the
relationship.

*
A dog’s parents never come to
visit.

*
Dogs love long car trips.

*
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking
for directions.

*
Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

*
No dog ever bought a Kenny G.
album.

*
No dog ever put on a hundred pounds
after reaching adulthood.

*
Dogs never criticize.

*
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get
your point across.

*
Dogs never expect gifts.

*
Dogs don’t worry about germs.

*
Dogs like to do their snooping outside,
as opposed to your wallet, desk ors
ock drawer.

*
Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide
their life.

*
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a
lobster dinner.

*
You never have to wait for a dog, they’re ready 24
hours a day.

*
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or
jewelry.

*
Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.

*
Dogs never want a foot rub.

*
Dogs can’t talk.

*
Dogs aren’t catty.

*
Dogs seldom outlive you.

I post funnies several times a week, you can now follow me on Kindle.

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Things Women Don’t Know



Things Women Don’t
Know




Women think they already know everything,
but wait… training courses
are now available for women on the following
subjects:


1. Silence, the Final Frontier:
Where No Woman Has Gone Before


2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making
Deposits


3. Parties: Going Without New
Outfits


4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till
After The
Game


5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom
Cabinet Too


6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is
His


7. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort,
not the First


8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before
Speaking


9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without
Nagging


10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN
Acquire


11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang
Up


12. Introduction to Parking


13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a
Space


14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat


15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and
Butter


16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human
Consumption


17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other
People


18. Compliments: Accepting Them
Gracefully


19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His


20. Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To


21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already
Have


22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only
Women Notice


23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All
Together


24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs
Both


25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

I post funnies several times a week, now you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints