You could drink or—

You Could Drink, Or…

Social Worker: Do you drink?

Man: Yes.

Social Worker: How much a day?

Man: Three six packs.

Social Worker: How much is a six pack?

Man: about $10.00.

Social Worker: And how long have you been drinking that much?

Man: Fifteen years.

Social Worker: So one six pack costs you $10.00, and you have three
six-packs a day, which puts your spending each month at about $900. In
one year, it would be $10,800. Correct?

Man: Yeah, that math works out. Sure.

Social Worker: If in one year you spend $10,800, not accounting for
inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at around $162,000,
correct?

Man: Yep.

Social Worker: Do you know that if you hadn’t drank all that beer,
that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account
and, after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you
could have now bought a brand new Ferrari?

long pause

Man: Do you drink?

Social Worker: No.

Man: Then why the hell are you driving a Chevy?

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Prozac Nation

Prozac Nation

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The article said:

The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.

So I looked around the house to see all the things I had started and
hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning…

I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, a bottle of
Bailey’s Irish Cream, the dregs of the Kahlua and Wild Turkey, the
Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake, last night’s leftover filet Mignon, and two boxes of chocolates.

You have no idea how freakin’ good I feel. Those “feel good” articles really work!

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Don’t let this happen to you

Don’t Let This Happen to You

Yeah, it’s an oldie. But it’s a goodie!

A bum asked a man on the street for $2.

“Will you buy booze?” the man asks, to which the bum replies, “No, I don’t drink.”

The man took in the bum’s tattered and clothes and worn-out shoes and asked, “Will you gamble it away?”

Again the bum replies, “No, I don’t gamble.”

Intrigued, the man took another tack. “Will you while away the productive working day at the golf course?”

And once again the bum replies “No, I don’t play golf.”

Then the man asks, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink, gamble or play golf?”

A Bad Day

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?”, he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY.  I can`t stand to see a man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure.  I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.  When I went to the parking  lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance.   I left my wallet in the cab I took home.   I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.”

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!  But enough about me, how’s your day going?”

Cheese Making ,Step by Step.

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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Honest Drunk

Honest Drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket
where she selected
a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a
head of romaine lettuce, a 2lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package
of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
front of the cashier.

 

He said, “You must be
single.”

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued
by the derelict’s intuition,
looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly
unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what,
you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know
that?”

The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re
ugly.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Sell Art Online

The Lecture

The Lecture

A cop sees an older gentleman staggering slightly down the street. It’s 1:00 in the morning. He pulls over for a chat.

“Good evening, sir,” the cop says. “Is everything OK?”

“Why yes, officer, thank you,” the man says, speaking a bit thickly.

“Where are you headed?” the cop asks.

“I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,” the man says with certainty.

“Sir, it’s 1:00 in the morning,” the cop says. “Who would be giving a lecture on that topic at this hour?”

The man nods, looks the cop in the eye, and says, “My wife.”

You can now follow me on Kindle.

MR.BEER® Home Brewing Kits. America's #1 Home Brewing System. Makes a great gift!

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

The Alligator and the Sore Tooth

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a
sign that hangs over the bar… FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON
WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test
is.

Bartender replies “Well, first you have to drink that whole
gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can’t make
a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore
tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there’s a
woman up-stairs who’s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her.” The guy says, “Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon
of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.

Photography Prints

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez
zat teeqeelah?”

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a
big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out
back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening
roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the
bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

“Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore
tooth?”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Enlightenment

At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth as I know it today, everything stated actually happened, according to my own perception. It has been an exciting search,at times very frustrating, very rewarding, and above all, very fulfilling. My main purpose in writing this book is to show that anyone, even a bashful unfamous country boy can have these awakenings, you don’t have to be rich or well-known to find your connection to Divine Source. I began taking notes for this book over thirty years ago, at the time, writing a book was the farthest thing from my mind. My only thought was to have a journal to read over when I got older. As a result, I didn’t  record some of my references, many of the references were from Aboriginal and Mayan elders themselves, many of which has been the victim of the ravages of time. Hence my book is short on references, but long on experience, I hope you understand.

Available in hard copy and Ebook format

 

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The World Goes Around

There’s this drunk standing out on the street
corner, and a cop passes by, and says, “What do you think
you’re doing?”

 The drunk says, “I heard the world goes
around every 24 hours, and I’m waiting on my house.
 Won’t be long
now, there goes my neighbor.”

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The Same Drunk at the Same Bar

The Same Drunk at the Same Bar

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and
staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks
the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that
it appears he has already had plenty to drink and that he could not be
served additional liquor. The bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs
down from the bar stool, and staggers out the front door. A few minutes
later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles
up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and –
still politely if not more firmly – refuses service to the man and again
offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment
angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while
grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of
the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and
belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically
reminds the man that he is drunk and will be served no drinks. He then
tells him that he can either call a cab or the police immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish
cries, “Man! How many bars do you work at?”

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thinking

Drinking Beer: The Buffalo Theory

The “Buffalo Theory” of Drinking Beer..

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know , kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest braincells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker braincells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that’s why beer is so GOOD for you!

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