You Know You Need a New Lawyer When

1. During your initial consultation he tries to
sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is,
they high-five each other.

4. He picks the jury by playing

5. During the trial you catch him playing his

6. He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”

7. A prison guard is shaving your head.

8. Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack
Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.

9. He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the
defense table.

10. He begins closing arguments with, “As Ally
McBeal once said …”

11. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.

12. Just before trial starts he whispers, “The
judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”

13. Just before he says “Your Honor,” he makes
those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

14. The sign in front of his law office reads
“Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM.”

15. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells
the judge, “Whatever.”

16. He giggles every time he hears the word

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated



Art Prints

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