Nice Guy

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free
speaker-function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, …go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$60,000”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing….the house we
wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just
offer $900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking
at him in astonishment. Then he asks: “Anyone know who this
phone belongs to?”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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The Buddy Code

The Buddy Code

1. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him.

2. Under no circumstances may two guys share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow attendees.

4. When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother,
father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not
— and should not — provide any useful information whatsoever as to
his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent
without recrimination. Beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to
call out, “Bullshit!” (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the
allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

7. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits. Forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s
running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10
minutes for every increment of hotness she scores on the classic
“1-to-10” Babe Scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s refrigerator
is forbidden. You may, however, gripe if its temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering a friend’s birthday is strictly optional
and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your
buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get
carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast,
your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission. He, in return, is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be regarded as
spies until they demonstrate a knowledge of the game and the ability to
pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a guy’s zipper is down, that’s his problem. You didn’t see nothin’.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or even like his girlfriend’s cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may
always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
who’s playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny
friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be
able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare the excuse about
joining the priesthood.

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The Necktie

The Necktie

A guy goes into a restaurant and lounge,
his shirt
open at the collar, but is stopped by a bouncer who tells
him he must wear a necktie to get in.

So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for
a tie and discovers that he just doesn’t have one. He sees
a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties
these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly
acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle
free.

He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully
looks him over for a few minutes and then says, “Well,
okay, I guess you can come in — just don’t start
anything.”

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Three not so wise Men

Three Not So Wise
Men

Three blonde men are stranded on one side
of a wide river, and don’t know
how to get across.

The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out
how to
cross the river, so God turns him into a brown haired man and he swims
across.

The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns
him
into dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows
across.

Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so
God
turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow on Kindle.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

Politically Correct

Politically
Correct

(How to talk about men and still be politically
correct.)


He does not have a beer gut; he
has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
*
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL
MINIMALIST.
*
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL
DEVELOPMENT.
*
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
*

He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

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A Man is a Person Who

A Man Is a Person
Who…

A man is a person who, if a woman says,
“Nevermind, I’ll do it myself.” – lets her.
*

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man,
“Nevermind, I’ll do it myself, and he lets her – gets mad.
*

A man is a person who, if a woman says,
“Nevermind, I’ll do it myself.” – lets her and she gets mad – says,
“Now what are you mad about?”
*

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man,
“Nevermind, I’ll do it myself, and he lets her – gets mad.,
and he says, “Now what are you mad about?” – says,
“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

Find your chuckles on Kindle.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Because I’m a Guy

Because I Am a Guy…

Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.

If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. *

Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink beer. *

Because I’m a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t an issue. *

Because I’m a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “Cumin” or “Tofu.” For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism. *

Because I’m a guy, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. * Because I’m a guy, we are NEVER lost … and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger – how the heck could HE know where we’re going? *

Because I’m a guy, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t. *

Because I’m a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother’s day is okay, I don’t need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom too? *

Because I’m a guy, I am capable of announcing, “one more beer and I really have to go,” and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What’s the connection?

* Because I’m a guy, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t. *

Because I’m a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating. *

Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without, it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Everything is fine. CAN WE JUST GO NOW? *

Because I’m a guy and this is, after all, the 90’s, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.

Join me on Kindle for your chuckles.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world! He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed. For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

Wisdom from a forgotten era.

Politically Correct


Politically
Correct


(How to talk about men and still be politically
correct.)


He does not have a beer gut; he
has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.


*
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL
MINIMALIST.
*
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL
DEVELOPMENT.
*
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
*

He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Novelty Golf Balls Now Available From golfballs.com!

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Men are Like


Men are like…Bank Accounts. Without a lot
of money, they don’t generate
much interest.
*
Men are like…Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise
they just
look silly.


*
Men are like…Blenders. You need one, but you’re not quite sure
why.
*
Men are like...Commercials. You can’t believe a word they
say.
*
Men are like…Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough
memory.
*
Men are like…Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them
anywhere.
*
Men are like…Government bonds. They take so long to
mature.
*
Men are like…High heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the
hang of it.
*
Men are like…Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are
usually
wrong.
*
Men are like…Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that
bright.
*
Men are like…Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion.
*
Men are like…Plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware
store
or the bathroom.
*
Men are like…Used Cars. Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and
unreliable.
*
Men are like…Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of
them.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.


Fall Style

Men


Men

 Getting rid of a man without hurting his
masculinity is a problem. “Get
out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge. If
you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, “I love you… I want to
marry you… I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid
marks.

 


Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super-heroes.
Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with
Barbie.
*

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female
menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get
to
date young girls and drive motorcycles.
*

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men
need
instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what
happened.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.


 

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