Wisdom from Seniors

Wisdom From
Seniors

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and
all bran?
*
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling
apart.
*
Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
*
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
*
If all is not lost, where is it?
*
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
*
The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop
digging.
*
I tried to get a life once, But they told me they were out of
stock.
*
I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway
though.
*
It was so different before everything changed.
*
Some day’s you’re the dog, and some day’s you’re the
hydrant.
*
Nostalgia isn’t what it use to be.
*
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay
resident.
*
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
*
I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
*
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
cause
kids.
*
It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at
the end.
*
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been
anywhere.
*
Living on Earth is expensive, But it does include a trip around the
sun.
*
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if your in the
bathroom.
*
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my
knees.
*
Never knock on death’s door, ring the bell and run (he hates
that).
*
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way
myself).
*
When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess.
*
If you are living on the edge, make sure your wearing your
seatbelt.
*
There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the
dead.
*
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other
toys.
*
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
*
Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
*
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better
attorney.
*
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.

Follow me on Kindle if you like a chuckle.

Art Prints

Dress Codes for Baby Boomers

Photography Prints

Dress Code for Baby Boomers

Now that the Boomer generation is getting …um… older,
it’s time to help them realize that there are certain combinations of
things that just don’t go together in today’s fashion world. Boomers are
strongly urged to avoid the following:

  • Nose rings and bifocals.
  • Spiked hair among bald spots.
  • Pierced tongues …and dentures.
  • Miniskirts over support hose.
  • Ankle bracelets with corn pads.
  • Speedos over cellulite.
  • Belly button rings near gall bladder surgery scars.
  • Unbuttoned disco shirts …showing a pacemaker bulge.
  • Midriff shirts when you have midriff bulges.
  • Bikinis when you have liver spots.
  • Short shorts revealing varicose veins.
  • Inline skates and walkers.

And, very importantly:

  • Thongs with Depends.

Avoid tragedy! Send the link to this page to a Boomer you love today.

Get a dose of humor delivered to your Kindle on a regular basis.

inspirational Quotes

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Enlightenment
At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth

What I’ve Learned

What I’ve
Learned…

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because
she cries when we sing “Silent
Night” – Age 6

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either- Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what

they are doing and wave back – Age 9

I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me

clean it up again – Age 12

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try

cheering someone else up – Age 14

I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my

parents are strict with me – Age 15

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of

advice – Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great

pleasures – Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed

me there – Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live

so that no one will believe it – Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know

how to show it – Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a

little note – Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his

or her need to cast blame on others – Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies – Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life

does go on, and it will be better tomorrow – Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours –

Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the

phone – Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles

these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree
lights – Age 52

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet

full of pills – Age 52

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you

miss them terribly after they die – Age 53

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life


Age 58

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children,

work to improve your marriage – Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance – Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on

both hands You need to be able to throw something back – Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But if you

focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people,
and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you – Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually

make the right decision – Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer – Age 72

I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles And to tell the truth,

I’ve seen several – Age 75

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one – Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone People

love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on
the back – Age 85

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn – Age 92

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about

Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile –
Age
less

Have a steady stream of wit and wisdom delivered to you Kindle.

Perspectives on Aging

Enjoy the view posters
Enjoy the view posters by lifejourneysimages
Browse Love Posters online at Zazzle.com

 

Perspectives on
Aging

“How old would you be if you didn’t know
how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of
finding
a sickness you like.” – Jackie Mason

 

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes
alone.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, … it
doesn’t
matter. – Mark Twain

Age only matters if you’re cheese.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway;
the
good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the
difference!
The Calvin and Hobbs Lazy Sunday Book
He who laughs, lasts.

I’ve gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid
before
I can ask where I left my glasses.

I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
hurt.

Art Prints
If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the
right
places.

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00
PM.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves
completely.

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and
skill.

The big thing today is computer dating. If you don’t know how to run
a
computer it really dates you.

The golden years: When actions creak louder than
words.

There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that twenty years
or so
won’t cure.

Stay up to snuff on the world of humor!Follow me on Kindle.

 

Sell Art Online

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world, When looking back in history, I soon discovered this has always been a problem, Benjamin Franklin once said, ”Of all the senses, common sense seems to be the one that is used the least.” As obvious as it may seem, many seem to be totally oblivious to it. Most, if not all of the problems the world faces today could be solved if people would just sit back and think about what would seem to be the most obvious and simple solution to any issue. Often times people tend to overcomplicate the issues. I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice. It is now evident they were a lot smarter than we gave them credit for. Many times, in today’s world, the schools and universities can no longer be counted on to teach truth and values that will guide someone through life.

Available in Hard Copy and Ebook Format

 

Senile Virus

C-Nile Virus

 
It seems that there is a virus out
there called the C-nile Virus that even the most advanced programs from
Norton cannot take care of, so be warned, it appears to affect those of us
who were born before 1956!

Symptoms of C-nile
Virus:

1. Causes you to send same e-mail
twice.

2. Causes you to send blank
e-mail.

3. Causes you to send to wrong
person.

4. Causes you to send back to person who
sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the
attachment.

6. Causes you to hit “SEND” before you’ve
finished it.

Follow me on Kindle for your chuckles,


Allianz Travel Insurance

Burglary in Florida

BURGLARY IN FLORIDA

 When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized
recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even
left his Rolex watch.


What they did take, however, was a “generic white cardboard box filled
with a grayish-white powder.” (That’s the way the police report described
it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, that “it looked
similar to high grade cocaine and they’d probably thought they’d hit the
big time.”
Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the
burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She
died three years ago.”

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known
as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The cardboard box was
there too; about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained.

Taped to the box was this note which said: “Hoochie sold us the bogus
blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard
feelings. Have a nice
day.”

And you thought California was the land of fruits and nuts !

Funny? Follow me on KIndle.


 123inkjets.com - Printer Ink, Toner, & More!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Geriatric Divorce

 

Geriatric Divorce

An old couple comes up before the judge in a divorce proceeding.
Seeing how absolutely ancient they are, the judge just has to ask their
ages.

“Well, your honor,” the old man says, “I’m 99 and my wife here is 97.”

Wow,” the judge says. “How long have you been married?”

“I married Pearl three days after she turned sixteen, so that would be a little over 81 years.”

“Eighty-one years?!” the judge said, incredulous.

“Eighty-one years of pure torture,” the old man corrects.

The judge is stunned. “If it was 81 years of pure torture, why didn’t you file for divorce sooner?”

“Well, your honor,” the gentleman says, “I guess we have to admit it: we were waiting for the kids to die.”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Birthday Cakes, Cake Delivery, Bake Me a Wish

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Senior Citizen Tourist

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.







She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. ‘These’ she explained, ‘Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.’ She then asked, ‘What do you do in America with your old goats?’

 A spry old gentleman answered, ‘They send us on bus tours!

 Now you can follow me on Kindle.

OneTravel.com

<!–RADEDITORSAVEDTAG_NOSCRIPT>Amazon.com Widgets</NOSCRIPT–>