The Eskimo

An Eskimo got so cold while paddling his kayak that he built a fire to warm himself up. Naturally, the kayak sank, and he had to swim to shore in the icy waters.

This only goes to show that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, to.been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.
Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

 

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The Grocery Boy

Fish in Aquarium Photograph
Fish in Aquarium Photograph by lifejourneysimages
Look at more Fish Photography at zazzle

 boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.

Said the store manager, “Sorry, kid, but baggers can’t be juicers.”

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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.
Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

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Questions to Ponder

Questions to Ponder

If a deaf kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn’t a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate freeways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

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Barnes & Noble

Some Great Useless One Liners

Some Great But Useless One-Liners

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost
and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.

You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world’s population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

A Groaner

A certain man was infatuated with a young
woman, but was so timid he never had the
courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his
therapist that every time he got near her he
felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.

“Well,” his therapist responded, “If you want
to get the girl you’ll just have to be a little
boulder!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

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The New Hospital Wing

A panel of doctors at a local hospital who were asked to vote on
adding a new  wing. Their responses are listed below:

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”
The pediatricians said, “Grow up.”
The proctologists said, “We are in arrears.”
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
And the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
The HMOs killed it, anyway.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Goldfinch Art Photo
Goldfinch Art Photo by lifejourneysimages
View other Bird Photography at Zazzle.com

The Bookie at the Inn

The Bookmaker at the Inn

A certain bookmaker who was making a long trip by car when toward nightfall he happened upon an inn which had a most unusual name: The Even Steven.

Since it was located in the middle of a desolate stretch of country, and he didn’t know how much farther the next place would be, he decided to stop there for the night. He registered, listing his occupation as a bookmaker, and decided to satisfy his curiosity about the name at the same time.

“It’s very simple, really,” the proprietor explained. “You see, my name is Steven Even. So I just decided to turn it around and call this The Even Steven. I thought if might get a few folks puzzled enough to stop and ask questions, and sometimes it does.”

“That’s a pretty smart way to use the luck of a name,” said the bookie, appreciatively. “I bet it brings you a lot of business.”

“It hasn’t brought me so much luck,” he said. “The folks who stop here don’t stay long. There’s not much gaiety around here, as you could see. In fact, there’s not another soul lives closer than thirty miles away, whichever way you go. Makes it pretty lonely for me, a widower. And worse still for my daughters — two of the loveliest girls you ever set eyes on, should have their pick of boyfriends. But, they are getting so frustrated they’re about to do anything for a man.”

The bookie made sympathetic noises, and listened to more in the same vein until hunger obliged him to change the subject to that of food. An excellent home-cooked dinner was served to him by a gorgeous blonde who introduced herself as Blanche Even, and when he was finished she still kept pressing him to ask for anything else he wanted.

Finally, she said, “Would you like me to sit and talk to you for a while?”

“Thank you,” he said politely, “but I’ve had a long day and I feel like closing the book.”

He went to his room and had just started to undress when there was a knock at the door and an absolutely breathtaking brunette came in. “I’m Carmen Even,” she said. “I just wanted to see if you’d got everything you want.”

“I think so, thank you,” he said pleasantly. “I do a lot of traveling, so I pack very systematically.”

When she had gone, he settled down with a sigh of relief and was about to put out the light at last when the door burst open once more and the proprietor himself stomped in, glowing with indignation. “What’s the matter with you,” he roared. “I’ve got to listen all night to my daughters moaning an’ wailing, the most luscious gals in this county, because they all try to show you hospitality an’ you won’t give one of ’em a tumble. Ain’t us Evens good enough for you?”

“I’m sorry,” said the transient. “But I told you when I registered that I’m a professional bookmaker: I only lay Odds.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Tourists Complaints

Tourist Complaints

Since 1841, Britain’s Thomas Cook Tours has been leading travelers on new adventures. But not everyone ends up happy. There are supposedly true complaints registered with the travel agency.

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax. “

11. “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

12. “No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

13. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

14. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

15. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

16. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

17. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

18. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

19. “There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

20. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

21. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

22. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

23. “My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

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Yogiisms


Yogiisms

A “Yogiism” is an odd saying attributed to baseball catcher Lawrence “Yogi” Berra (still alive: he’s 88). He often mangled sentences when speaking to reporters, so they were often recorded or quickly jotted down. But Yogi once defended himself by saying, “I really didn’t say everything I said.

On baseball: “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”

 

“Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

“I knew the record would stand until it was broken.”

“It’s déjà vu all over again.” (after seeing Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris repeatedly hit back-to-back home runs in the early 1960s)

“You can observe a lot by watching.”

“If people don’t want to come to the ballpark how are you going to stop them?”

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t go to yours.”

“I looked like this when I was young, and I still do.”

“If you ask me a question I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.”

“If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.”

“It gets late early out there.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

Photography Prints

 

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them?

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian (according to Wikipedia) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.

– – –

Where there’s a will … I want to be in it.

I like going to the park and watching the children run around … because they don’t know I’m using blanks. (Emo Philips) 

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing … after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ … I put ‘DOCTOR’.

If I am reading this graph correctly … I’d be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I don’t belong to an organized political party. I’m a Democrat. (Will Rogers)

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)

You’re never too old to learn …something stupid.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Photography Prints