You Know You’re addicted to Coffee When

1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

2. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

3. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.

4. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using
the timer.

5. You lick your coffeepot clean.

6. You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”

7. You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
don’t even work there.

8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

9. You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their
margaritas.

10. You can jump-start your car without cables.

11. All your kids are named “Joe.”

12. Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”

13. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

14. You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

15. People get dizzy just watching you.

16. When you find a penny, you say, “Find a penny, pick it up.
Sixty-three more, I’ll have a cup.”

17. The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.

18. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

19. You’re so wired, you pick up FM radio.

20. Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”

21. Instant coffee takes too long.

22. When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”

23. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity
in a coffee can.

24. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

25. You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.

26. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

27. You get drunk just so you can sober up.

28. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

29. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

30. You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.

31. You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.

32. You don’t tan, you roast.

33. You can’t even remember your second cup.

34. You introduce your spouse as your “Coffeemate.”

35. You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

 

 

Sell Art Online

You Know You live in a Small Town When

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt
road.

You used to drag “main”.

You said a cuss word and your parents knew within the hour.

You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.

School gets canceled for state events.

It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.

The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snooty,” but is actually
just like your town.

Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.

You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the “rich people.”

The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two
years later.

Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed
store.

You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference.

You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis.

You know what 4-H is.

You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask
if you need a ride.

You can charge at all the local stores.

The closest McDonald’s is 45 miles away. So is the closest mall.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

A modern day vision quest

A modern day vision quest

 

 

 

Art Prints

You Know You’re Getting Old When You can Remember

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
*

When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
*

When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
*

When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
*

When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
*

When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
*

When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
*

When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
*

When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
*

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
*

When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
*

When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.
*

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
*

When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the
box.
*

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
*

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents.
*

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed–and did!
*

When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
*

When women were called, “Mrs. John Smith,” instead of their own name.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

A journey of spiritual discovery

A journey of spiritual discovery

 

 

Sell Art Online

You Know You live In Phoenix When

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and
end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one
out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

 

Sell Art Online

Program for the Elderly

Program for the Elderly

Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor, FL forwarded the following letter. It was sent to the principal’s office after the school sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to thank them:

Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me.

God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine and I told her to screw off. Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,
Edna Waters

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Doing What You Love

 

 


HerbsPro

Some Great Useless One Liners

Some Great But Useless One-Liners

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost
and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.

You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world’s population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

Speaking English

Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what
kills you.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The wisdom of our ancestors

Redneck Medical Terms

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign…………….What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria……………Back door to cafeteria.

Barium……………..What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section…….A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan…………….Searching for the cat.

Cauterize……….Made eye contact with her.

Colic……………A sheep dog.

Coma……………A punctuation mark.

D&C…………….Where Washington is.

Dilate………….To live longer than your kids do.

Enema………….Not a friend.

Fester…………Quicker than someone else.

Fibula…………A small lie.

G.I.Series………World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail………..What you hang your coat on.

Impotent……Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain……….Getting hurt at work.

Morbid…………..A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates………..Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff…….A Doctor’s cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node………………..I knew it.

Outpatient…………..A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear…………….A fatherhood test.

Pelvis……………….Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative………..A letter carrier.

Recovery Room….Place to do upholstery.

Secretion…….Hiding something.

Tablet……….A small table to change babies on.

Seizure……….Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness….Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor……………More than one.

Urine……………Opposite of mine.

Varicose…………Near by.

Hospital…………The biggest building in town, other than Joe’s feed
warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern day walkabout

Key To Staying Healthy

You’re in incredible shape,” the doctor said. “How old are you again?”

“I am 78.” The man said. “78?” asked the doctor. “How do you stay so
healthy? You look like a 60 year old.”

“Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married
that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool
off and I would go outside to settle down.” the man explained.

“What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.

“I’ve pretty much lived an outdoor life.”

Art Prints

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

Still Crazy

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic
act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news, he said, “Mary, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being
discharged because – since you were able to jump in and
save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your
senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he’s dead.”

Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

The School House of Life