Predicting His Son’s Profession

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Predicting His Son’s Profession

A Tennessee country preacher had a teenage son, and as he neared the end of high school it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study desk three items: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.

“I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself, “and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up. If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be OK too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard and, Lord, what a shame that would be.”

The older man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house and headed for his room. He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the three items on the desk. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. His father, watching quietly, started to silently thank the Lord. But then his son picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket, and twisted the top off the bottle and took a big drink!

“Lord have mercy,” the old man whispered, “he’s gonna be a Congressman!”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Honest Lawyer

Art Prints

The Honest Lawyer

A woman with her own business was thriving based on her sterling reputation. When she decided she needed a lawyer to help her incorporate, she was worried that their typical reputation might stain hers, so she was carefully interviewing the available business lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an ‘honest’ lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest! Why, I’m so honest that my dad lent me $105,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case!”

“Impressive,” she said. “I think you just may have the job.”

But then she saw a suspicious twinkle in his eye.

“Just a minute,” she said. “What was your first case?”

“Well,” he said, “my dad sued me for the money.”

(Of course, that’s what gave him the title, “The Honest Lawyer”!)

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

The Money in the Tool Shed

The Lawyer

The crime boss and his attorney meet with his accountant.
“Where’s the $3 million you embezzled from me?”
demands the gangster.

The accountant is silent.

“Where’s my $3 million?” the crime boss shouts.

The lawyer explains, “Sir, the man is deaf. Allow me to translate.”
So using sign language, the attorney asks the accountant
about the money, and the message is relayed back
that the accountant knows nothing about it.

Furious, the crime boss pulls out a revolver and puts it to
the deaf accountant’s head, screaming at the lawyer,
“Ask him again where my money is!”

“Okay! Okay!” the deaf accountant signs back.
“The money’s hidden behind the old toolshed in my back yard.”

“What did he say?” demands the enraged crime boss.

The attorney replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to
pull the trigger.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money doing what you love!

The Priest and the Lawyer

There is a truck driver driving along, and he stops and picks up a
priest to give him a ride.

He’s driving down the highway and he sees a lawyer along the side
of the road and thinks, “Hot! A lawyer that I could run over!” So he
speeds up and heads straight for him.

At the last second he remembers the priest with him. So he swerves
real quick to miss him, but still hears a thump. He looks behind, no
sign of the lawyer.

He says to the priest “Wow, that was a close one, I almost hit that
lawyer!”

The priest then replies “That’s ok son, I got him with my door.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Doing What you Love

Law school Graduates

Law School Graduates

These were supposedly published by the Massachusetts Bar Association’s Lawyers Journal, listing them as questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.

1. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

2. The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

3. Were you present when your picture was taken?

4. Were you alone or by yourself?

5. Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? 

6. Did he kill you?

7. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

8. You were there until the time you left, is that true?

9. How may times have you committed suicide?

10. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Yes.
And what were you doing at that time?

11. She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there any girls?

12. You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?

13. Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
I went to Europe, Sir.
And you took your new wife?

14. How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?

15. Can you describe the individual?
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Was this a male, or a female?

16. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

17. Doctor, how many autopsies have your performed on dead people?
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

18. All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Oral.

19. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

20. You were not shot in the fracas?
No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

21. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
I have been since early childhood.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Australialife

Spend a month in the Australian Out Back

 

Court Transcripts

Photography Prints

More Real Court Transcripts

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

—–

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

—–

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

—–

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

—–

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

—–

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

—–

JUDGE: “The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant, sir?”

DEFENDANT: “No, sir, I’m the guy who stole the chickens.”

—–

Last, Responses to Interrogatories answered by the wife in divorce case:

52. Do you have a proposal to settle this case amicably?

ANSWER: Yes.

53. Assuming your answer to the preceding interrogatory is in the affirmative, please state such a proposal.

ANSWER: Use a silver bullet or a wooden stake as is appropriate in these cases.

You will hear with these.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

Witness for the Prosecution

Witness for the Prosecution

In a trial in a small North Carolina town, a prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she
would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help
her God.

She says “I do.”

She was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known
you since you were a young boy and frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and
talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big
shot when you haven’t the sense to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you
quite well.”

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn’t even think for a few moments.
Then, he slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors’
faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not
knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, big-mouthed and has a bad drinking
problem. The man can’t build or keep a normal relationship with anyone,
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know
him.”

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in
his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered
throughout the court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called
both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, “If either
of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you’ll be thrown in
jail for contempt. Is that clear?”

Have a new joke delivered to your Kindle on a regular schedule.

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You Can’t take it with you

 

You Can’t Take it With You II

A lawyer is on his deathbed. He calls his three associates in and
says, “They say you can’t take it with you, but I plan to. In each of
these cases is a million dollars in cash. Just after they lower my
casket I want you to each throw it in with me.”


The men are all silent.

“I know I can trust you…” the dying man says.

They all three give their solemn promise.

The next week, leaving the funeral, one says to the other two, “I
have to get this off my chest. I lost a lot in the market last year and I
really needed the money. I took out half of the million dollars.”

The second lawyer says, “Oh, God, me too. After my divorce I’ve been struggling to catch up. I only threw in $250,000.”


The third attorney looks at the other two with a shocked expression.
“I can’t believe you two! I enclosed a check for the entire amount!”

 

You Can’t Take it With You

 

You Can’t Take it With You II

A lawyer is on his deathbed. He calls his three associates in and
says, “They say you can’t take it with you, but I plan to. In each of
these cases is a million dollars in cash. Just after they lower my
casket I want you to each throw it in with me.”

The men are all silent.

“I know I can trust you…” the dying man says.

They all three give their solemn promise.

The next week, leaving the funeral, one says to the other two, “I
have to get this off my chest. I lost a lot in the market last year and I
really needed the money. I took out half of the million dollars.”

The second lawyer says, “Oh, God, me too. After my divorce I’ve been struggling to catch up. I only threw in $250,000.”


The third attorney looks at the other two with a shocked expression.
“I can’t believe you two! I enclosed a check for the entire amount!”

Jokes on a regular and timely manner,follow me on Kindle.


Learn more about Native Remedies

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

 

Art Prints

The Dead Skunk and the Lawyer

Happiness Posters
Happiness Posters by lifejourneysimages
Look at Happiness Posters online at Zazzle.com

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead
lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Funny sayings


120x60 St. Patrick's Day

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

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