Taxi Driver in Heaven

Taxi Driver In Heaven

A minister has just died and is standing in line waiting to be judged and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him about himself.

The man says, “I was a taxi driver from New York City.” The angel standing at the gate calls out “next,” and the taxi driver steps up.

The angel hands him a golden staff and a cornucopia of fruits, cheeses, and wine and lets him pass. The taxi driver looks pleased and proceeds through the gates into heaven.

The minister begins to think about the richness he’ll get upon his entrance.

But instead, the angel hands him a wooden staff and some bread and water.

The minister is very concerned and asks the angel, “That guy is a taxi driver and gets a golden staff and a cornucopia! I spend my entire life as a minister and get next to nothing! How can that be?”

The angel replies, “Up here we judge on results. All of your people slept through your sermons. In his taxi, they prayed.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

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Safety Tips

With the onset of winter, we all need a reminder to follow safe driving habits and rules so we may safely reach our destination in all types of driving conditions.

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Our Last Wish

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Summing Up Their Lives

Three friends die in a car crash and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.

“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you before they lower you into your grave?” asks St. Peter.

The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor and a wonderful family man.”

The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children.”

They all turn to the third guy, who looks like he’s deeply pondering.

“I would like to hear,” he says, “Wait! He’s moving!

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

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Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income.

Tide gets the stains out

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Tide Detergent: It Gets The Stains Out!

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

Well, one thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative.

Then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go — I have to write to the Hefty Bag people.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

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reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

 

 

Over 60.

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Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can I do?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement or shed; when you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy members of the opposite sex who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore — under fiction.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you’re in front of a mirror, make sure you’re not wearing your glasses.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not the problem, retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually only in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Hey! I remember these!”

Q: What is a 60+ year old’s most frequent thought when going from one room to another?
A: “What did I come here for?”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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The Little Boy

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A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly
woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her
and asked, “Are you a Christian?”

“Yes.”.

“Do you read your Bible every day?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, and again she answered, “Yes.”

With that he asked his final question, “Will you hold my quarter while
I go swimming?”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

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Don’t Be Scared

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One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter
what the lesson was about.

Her daughter answered “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.”

Needless to say, mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s
Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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Improve your health, increase your wealth.

 

Painting the Church

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There was a tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was very interested
in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin down paint
to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the
Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of
one of their biggest buildings. Jock put in a bid, and because his price
was so low, he got the job.

Cruise ship puzzles
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And so he set to erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and
buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with
turpentine.

Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly
completed when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder,
and the sky opened, the rain poured down,washing the thinned paint
from all over the church and knocking Jock clear off the scaffold to
land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles
of the thinned and useless paint.

Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty,
so he got on his knees and cried: “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should
I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke, “Repaint! Repaint!
and thin no more!”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

You Know You’re a Redneck Part 3

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand..

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer
quota..

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip
on the side..

The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart..

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV..

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler..

You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table..

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart..

Your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always
brings you home..

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
improvement..

You’ve used a toilet brush as a back scratcher..

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty..

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph..

Somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth and you
take them out to see what it is.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbs

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

 

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The Drunk Trickster

The Empire State Building

A man gets off the elevator at the bar on top of the Empire State Building. He is bowled over by the splendor and the view. He orders a drink, and then remarks about how there’s a large open window with no guardrails or anything — someone could fall a long way!

“There’s no problem with that, it’s completely safe!” says a man dressed in a sharp suit, glasses and a fedora. “Even if you fell out, the building creates a strong updraft current that will bring you right back to safety!”

“Huh?” the man says, incredulous.

“Sure, let me show you!” the man at the bar says, stepping to the window and allowing himself to fall right out.

“Oh my gosh!” says the newcomer. He bends over to look out the window to see what happened just as the man comes back up in the wind, right into the window, and lands right on his feet! Even his fedora is still firmly in place.

“That’s amazing!” he says. “Does it happen like that all the time?”

“Yep, I’ve done it many times,” says the square-jawed man. He offers to hold the newcomer’s drink while he tries it.

“Here goes nothing,” the newbie says. He leans out the window and falls out of the building — and all the way to the street where he goes Splat! The man in the suit says “tsk tsk tsk” and drinks the man’s cocktail.

“You know,” the bartender finally says to the regular, “you’re really a mean bastard when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Aircraft Jokes

Aircraft Maintenance

I’m not sure about the “actual” bit, since it has been attributed to the U.S. Air Force, United Airlines, Qantas Airlines, and more. But it’s a great old classic about clear communications

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses:

P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 schoolhouse

A life long journey of spiritual enlightenment. A journey we all must take. 
Since time immemorial , humankind has embarked on a spiritual journey to seek enlightenment. All travel this path, although not at the same time and more especially not at the same pace. Each must seek his own path and destination.