The Difference Between Men and Women

A Difference between Men and Women

On Friendship between women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house.

The man called his wife’s 10 best friends.

None of them knew about it.

 

On Friendship between men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.

The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over. And two claimed that he was still there!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

modern walk

A Modern Day Walkabout



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Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

To Women everywhere, from the Men who have had enough!

(And by the way: this was sent to me by a woman.)

  • If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us anymore — we refuse to answer.
  • Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. And don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such subjects as belly button lint or monster trucks.
  • Sunday equals sports. It’s like the full moon or the tides: there’s nothing you can do about it. And shopping isn’t a sport, never was a sport and never will be a sport.
  • When we’re going out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Just fine. The first thing you put on. Truly. Now let’s get going already!
  • You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Most guys own just 3 pairs of shoes. Why do you think we’d be any good at choosing which of your 30 pairs goes well with that dress?
  • Crying is blackmail. Blackmail is cheating. Men don’t like people who cheat. See “Sports”.
  • Just come out and ask for what you want. Let’s be absolutely clear on this point: Subtle hints don’t work, strong hints don’t work, really obvious hints don’t work. If you’re really serious about it, just come right out and ask us. And by the way, the answer is probably “no”.
  • We don’t know what day it is, and never will. Write all birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions in bright red on the calendar, and make sure we see it.
  • Trust me on this, standing up while peeing makes it much harder to aim. We’re bound to miss sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that recurs every night is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless there’s fighting in it.
  • Check your dang oil. And if your car makes a “funny noise”, say something now — don’t wait until it gets worse. Remember: it always gets worse.
  • It is not in your best interest or ours to take that magazine quiz together. It doesn’t matter which magazine or which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument and all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. Really.
  • Ogling is genetic in males. It doesn’t mean we love you less. As my old friend Rich used to say, “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.” Just be glad we have an appetite, OK?
  • You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • All men see in about 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. And life is easier if you bunch all those “eggshell” colors into “pretty much white.”
  • When it itches, it will be scratched. Live with it.
  • Know how you feel about handbags? That’s how we feel about beer.
  • If we ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing”, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying — it’s just not worth the hassle to dig it out of you. So if you have something to say, just say it!
  • Finally, if we’ve settled an argument, it’s settled, OK? Don’t start it all over again later. If it’s not settled in your mind, don’t agree to the settlement the first time.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

Say What

An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s
hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him,
he wouldn’t respond. The lady went to the doctor to ask
his advice.

The doctor said to her: “When you go home, tell your
husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you
should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants
for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you
until he responds to your question so you know exactly
how far away he is from you when he finally hears you.”

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home,
she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and
yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”


There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer.

Again she yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”
No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where
she was now practically face to face with her husband.

She yelled even louder this time, “HERBERT, what do you
want for dinner?!!”

Herbert yells back at her, “For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated


Photography Prints

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Wedding Dress

All Dressed in White

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle.

Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.

The youngster thought about this for a while.

“So then, why,” she finally asked her mother after putting the pieces together, “is the groom wearing black?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Romantic Quote Plates
Romantic Quote Plates by lifejourneysimages
Look at other Relationship Plates at zazzle.com

The Toothache

The Smiths were shown into the dentist’s office, where
Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn’t want to spend
a lot of money.

“No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered, “No gas or needles
or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it
over with.”

“I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,” said
the dentist admiringly. “Now, which tooth is it?”

Mr. Smith turned to his wife…
“Show him your tooth, honey!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Art Prints

Tips for a Happy Marriage

Photography Prints

Tips for a Happy Marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I
go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the
kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
maker. Then she said “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was
water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me “In the
Lake.”

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said “No, jump in!”

10. Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

12. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

13. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. She told me never to interrupt her.

14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” And I said “Dust!”

Urban Legends

Have humor delivered to your Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

Rules of Romance

Keep your beer cold photo
Keep your beer cold photo by lifejourneysimages
View other Sail Photography at Zazzle.com

Rules of
Romance

In the world of romance, one single rule
applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes
and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she
expects…Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the
point system.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed…………………………………………..+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows………0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…………………..-1
You leave the toilet seat up………………………………..-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty………………0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…….-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with
wings..+5
But return with beer………………………………………-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night …………………0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing……………0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something………..+5
You pummel it with a six iron…………………………..+10
It’s her
father……………………………………….-10

Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party…..0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave
to chat with a college drinking buddy….-2
Named Tiffany……………….-4
Tiffany is a dancer………….-6
Tiffany has implants…………-8

Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner…………………………….0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar ……+1
Okay, it is a sports bar……………………………..-2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night………………………..-3
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colors of your favorite
team………………-10

A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal …………………………………..-5
And the pal is happily married ……………………….-4
Or frighteningly single ……………………………..-7
And he drives a Mustang……………………………..-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)
…………-15

A Night Out
You take her to a movie…………………………………..+2
You take her to a movie she likes………………………….+4
You take her to a movie you hate………………………….+6
You take her to a movie you like…………………………..-2
It’s called DeathCop 3……………………………………-3
Which features cyborgs having sex………………………….-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans
………-15

Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly………………………….-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it….+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts …………………………………-30
You say “I don’t give a damn because you have one
too”………-800

The Big Question
She asks, “Do I look fat?” ……………………………….-5
You hesitate in responding……………………………….-10
You reply,
“Where?”………………………………………-35

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what looks like a concerned expression…………………………..0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes……….+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV…+10
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen
asleep……………-20

The book of Awakening


Art Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

His and Her ATM Machines

His and Hers ATM
Machines

HIS

1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away

HERS

1. Pull up to ATM
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer

3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse

5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse

7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it.

9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions.

11. Hit “cancel”
12. Reenter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse
checks

18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop

28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook

34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook

36. Check makeup
37. Put car in
reverse

38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine

40. Drive 3 miles
41. Release parking brake

Get regular chuckles on Kindle.

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A Point of Honor

A Point of Honor

One evening a husband comes home to his apartment, beaten and roughed up.

When his wife sees him she asks, “What in the world happened to you?”

“I got into a fight with the apartment manager!”

“Whatever for?” she asked. “I’ve never known you to fight before!”

“It was a point of honor,” he said.

“What do you mean,” she asked.

“He said he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!”

“I can see why you’d be upset at that,” she said as she starting applying cold compresses to his wounds.

“I should hope so!” he said, wincing.

“I’ll bet,” she said, thinking the idea through, “that it’s that snooty Mrs. Green on the third floor!”

Now you can have jokes delivered to your Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

thinking

America is in serious trouble, many no longer realize what values and principles our country is founded on and have strayed from the common sense and creative thinking of our ancestors, how can we fix it?

Art Prints