Christmas May be Late this Year

Christmas May Be Late This Year

Santa Claus, like any pilot, gets regular visits from Federal Aviation Administration inspectors. And sure enough, an inspector arrived right on Christmas Eve, just as Santa was about to take off for his around-the-world flight!

Santa made sure his logbook and all his paperwork were in order. The elf mechanics made double sure all the required inspections and Airworthiness Directives for the sleigh were up to date and properly logged.

The inspector checked Santa’s pilot logbook, determining he was qualified and current. He checked the maintenance logs, and found them to be in perfect order. Then he walked slowly around the sleigh. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf’s nose. He especially painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations for the sleigh’s enormous payload. The payload was a primary concern on the visit, since no other operators fly with anywhere near as much cargo on a single flight. And Santa operates with a special FAA waiver to fly the craft with only one pilot. So they keep an eye on him.

Finally, they were ready for the flight check. Santa got in, fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness, got out the checklist and powered up the shiny new GPS navigation system. Then the inspector hopped in — carrying to Santa’s surprise, a shotgun.

“What’s that for?” asked Santa incredulously.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” the inspector said, after leaning over to whisper to Santa, “but you’re gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Merry Christmas Plate
Merry Christmas Plate by lifejourneysimages
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Government Standards for Pipes

Government Pipe Specifications

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic, centered around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length — do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed their OD
(Outside Diameter) — otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. The pipe is supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe is to be supplied without rust; this can be more readily
applied at the job site. (NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply
pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is recommended
as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.)

6. All
pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words “LONG PIPE”
clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it’s a
long pipe.

7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also
have the words “LONG PIPE” painted in the middle so the contractor will
not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether it
is a long or short pipe.

8. All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in
diameter must have the words “LARGE PIPE” painted on it, so the
contractor won’t mistake it for a small pipe.

9. Flanges must
be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes from bolts that are quite
separate from the big holes in the middle.

10. When ordering 90
or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand,
otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to
specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe.
If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong
way.

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or
left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads. Otherwise, as the
coupling is being screwed on to one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the
other.

13. All pipes shorter than 1/8in (3mm) are very
uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as
washers.

14. Joints in pipes for water must be watertight. Those pipes for compressed air, however, need only be airtight.

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include; Conduit, Tube, Tunnel, and Drain. Use only genuine pipes.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 

Display of Authority

Display of Authority

A
Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and
talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your
ranch for your water allocation.

The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The Water representative says, “Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher’s bull. The bull
is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified.

So the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence
and yells at the top of his lungs….”Your card! Show him Your card!”

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