A Penny for Your Thoughts

Art Prints

A Penny For Your Thoughts

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

 

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg.”

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man knit his brow. “Well, now,” he said, “my thoughts are a bit more serious this time.”

“Really?” said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

“Aye,” said the lad.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Angus blurted out, “Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world, I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often. It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

 

Getting into Heaven

Art Prints

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into
Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class.

“NO!” the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and
kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “NO!”

Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all
the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into
Heaven?” I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, “NO!”

“Well, I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

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Teenagers are a lot like cats

Teenagers have a lot in common with cats:

Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.

Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

Cats are said to have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did, too.

Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner — communicating that ultimate human ecstasy: a sense of complete and utter boredom.

Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.

Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are definitely not above that sort of behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

Sell Art Online

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

masonic

Throughout man’s long history on earth,there has been one group of people who have carried the torch of liberty and freedom throughout the ages , from time immemorial until the present day. In these days their counsel is need more than ever.

 

Why Men Can’t Win

Why Men Can’t Win

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp. If you don’t, you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert. If you don’t, you’re a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re a sexist pig. If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

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If you’re totally beat after a hard day, you don’t give a damn about other people’s needs. If she’s totally beat after a hard day, she’s tired.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed. If you don’t, there must be “someone else”.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

You Know You’re a Redneck Part 2

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem..

You’ve bathed with flea and tick soap..

You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog..

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell..

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture..

You took a fishing pole to Sea World..

You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program..

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold..

You have a rag for a gas cap..

Your father executes the “Pull my finger” trick during Christmas
dinner..

Your house doesn’t have curtains but your truck does..

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean..

You can spit without opening your mouth..

You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

Photography Prints

 

Dating in 1959

Dating in 1959

It’s the summer of 1959 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold’s a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue’s mother answers and invites him in. “Peggy Sue’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?”

He does, and Peggy Sue’s mother asks Harold what they’re planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue’s mother responds, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.”

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he stammers “Really?

“Sure,” says Peggy Sue’s mother, “We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she’d screw all night if we let her!”

Harold’s eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she’s ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, “Have a good evening kids,” with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

“Dammit, Mom! Twist! The Twist! It’s called The Twist!

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Lost wisdom of our Ancestors

Golfballs.com Custom Golf Products

Dear God

Dear God

Supposedly true excerpts of kids’ Sunday School letters to God.

Dear God: 

  • In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation?  
  • How did you know you were God? 
  • I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Allison 
  • On Halloween I am going to wear a Devil’s costume, is that all right with you? 
  • Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? 
  • Is it true my father won’t get into Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? 
  • Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? 
  • Who draws the lines around the countries? 
  • Do animals get to use you too or is there someone else for them? 
  • I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church … is that OK? 
  • I like the Lord’s Prayer the best of all. Did you have to write it a lot or did you get it right the first time? I have to write everything I ever write over again. 
  • God, it’s OK that you made different religions but don’t you get mixed up sometimes? 
  • Did they really talk that fancy in Bible times? 
  • I would like to know why all the things you said are in red? 
  • Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours or do you just know him through the business? 
  • Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you, because if you did then I’m going to fix my brother. 
  • My grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back DO you go? 
  • I know all about where babies come from. I think. From inside mommies and daddies put them there. Where are they before that? Do you have them in Heaven? How do they get down here? Do you have to take care of them all first? Please answer all my questions…I always think of you. Yours Truly, Susan 
  • Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy. 
  • Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. 
  • Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was suppose to be our day of rest. 
  • I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had 3 stitches and a shot. 
  • If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. Thank You. Love, Denise 
  • Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year. 
  • Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. 
  • I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. 
  • I keep waiting for Spring but it never comes yet. Please don’t forget. 
  • I think the stapler is on of your greatest inventions. 
  • I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. 
  • Of all the people who work for you, I like Peter and John the best. 
  • My brother told me about being born but it sure doesn’t sound right. 
  • If you watch in church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes. 
  • I like the story about Chanuka the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones!! 
  • I would like to live for 900 years like the guy in the bible. 
  • We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So, I bet he stole your idea. 
  • If you would of let the dinosaurs not extinct we would not have a country…I think you did the right thing. 
  • It is great the way you always get the stars in the Right places. 

    Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

 

 


Capalbos - Fruit, Cheese, Wine & Gourmet Food

Doctor’s Orders

A woman went to a doctors’ office and was seen by
one of the new doctors.

But after about 4 minutes in the examination room,
she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the
problem was, and when she explained, he had her sit
down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and
demanded, ‘What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry
is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT??

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write
on his clipboard. ‘Cured her hiccups though, didn’t I?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

The School House of Life

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

To Women everywhere, from the Men who have had enough!

(And by the way: this was sent to me by a woman.)

  • If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us anymore — we refuse to answer.
  • Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. And don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such subjects as belly button lint or monster trucks.
  • Sunday equals sports. It’s like the full moon or the tides: there’s nothing you can do about it. And shopping isn’t a sport, never was a sport and never will be a sport.
  • When we’re going out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Just fine. The first thing you put on. Truly. Now let’s get going already!
  • You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Most guys own just 3 pairs of shoes. Why do you think we’d be any good at choosing which of your 30 pairs goes well with that dress?
  • Crying is blackmail. Blackmail is cheating. Men don’t like people who cheat. See “Sports”.
  • Just come out and ask for what you want. Let’s be absolutely clear on this point: Subtle hints don’t work, strong hints don’t work, really obvious hints don’t work. If you’re really serious about it, just come right out and ask us. And by the way, the answer is probably “no”.
  • We don’t know what day it is, and never will. Write all birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions in bright red on the calendar, and make sure we see it.
  • Trust me on this, standing up while peeing makes it much harder to aim. We’re bound to miss sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that recurs every night is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless there’s fighting in it.
  • Check your dang oil. And if your car makes a “funny noise”, say something now — don’t wait until it gets worse. Remember: it always gets worse.
  • It is not in your best interest or ours to take that magazine quiz together. It doesn’t matter which magazine or which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument and all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. Really.
  • Ogling is genetic in males. It doesn’t mean we love you less. As my old friend Rich used to say, “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.” Just be glad we have an appetite, OK?
  • You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • All men see in about 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. And life is easier if you bunch all those “eggshell” colors into “pretty much white.”
  • When it itches, it will be scratched. Live with it.
  • Know how you feel about handbags? That’s how we feel about beer.
  • If we ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing”, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying — it’s just not worth the hassle to dig it out of you. So if you have something to say, just say it!
  • Finally, if we’ve settled an argument, it’s settled, OK? Don’t start it all over again later. If it’s not settled in your mind, don’t agree to the settlement the first time.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

State-Of-The-Art Wristwatch

A very confident Marine Corps Pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

The Pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Fighter Pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.