The Mud Bath

A man goes into his doctors office for an annual
physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and
says, “I’m sorry Bill, but we have discovered you
have a condition which only allows you another 6
weeks to live.”

“But Doctor,” Bill replied, “I feel great. I
haven’t felt better in years. This just can’t be
true. Isn’t there anything I can do?”

After a moment the doctor said, “Well, you might
start going down the street to that new health spa
and take a mud bath every day.”

Excitedly Bill asked, “And that will cure me?”

“No,” Replied the doctor, “but it will get you
used to the dirt.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Take The Pill

Doctor: “Take the green pill with a glass of water
when you get up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses
of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed,
take the red pill with another glass of water.”

Man: “Exactly what’s my problem, doc?”

Sell Art Online

Doctor: “You’re not drinking enough water.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love

Doctor’s Orders

A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down
the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and
said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doctor:
“Get a hot mamma and be cheerful’.”

The Doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart
murmur. Be careful.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

The Wisdom of our Ancestors

The New Hospital Wing

A panel of doctors at a local hospital who were asked to vote on
adding a new  wing. Their responses are listed below:

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”
The pediatricians said, “Grow up.”
The proctologists said, “We are in arrears.”
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
And the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
The HMOs killed it, anyway.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Goldfinch Art Photo
Goldfinch Art Photo by lifejourneysimages
View other Bird Photography at Zazzle.com

Exercise More and Eat Less

Exercise More and Eat Better

Now that I’m over 70, the doctor wants me to come in for frequent checkups. I don’t know why, though: he always says the same thing. “You need to eat better and exercise more! Walking and swimming are especially good for you.” Worse, he wants me to cut out steak for fish and vegetables, and cut out beer for water.

That depressed me to no end. But I decided to think about it.

Well, I thought about it for hours, and here’s what I came up with.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks lots of water — and “a whale” is what hugely fat people are called (by the insensitive boors, that is — not by me!)

A rabbit runs and hops and enjoys each day, and only eats vegetables — and a rabbit only lives for 15 years, tops.

But a tortoise doesn’t run around. It does practically nothing. Yet it lives for 450 years.

And he tells me to exercise and change my diet? I don’t think so! From now on, I’m not coming out of my house

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Photography Prints

The First aid Class

Her First Aid Class

“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the cocktail waitress walked into the bar.

“It was awful,” she explained. “I was walking down Elm Street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere! Thank God I took that first-aid course!”

“Did you splint his broken leg?” the bartender asked.

“No….” the girl said.

“Did you wrap his head in gauze?” he asked.

“No….” the girl said.

“Did you dress his wounds?” he asked, starting to really wonder.

“No….” the girl said.

“Well, what did you do that you learned in your first-aid class?” he finally asked.

“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

//
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// ]]>

Confessions of a Doctor

Confessions from Your Doctor

A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby
in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
–Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I
instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.
–Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a “massive internal fart.”
–Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity
test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, “Cover
your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
“Left.” Again, a flawless read. “Now both,” I requested. There was
silence. He couldn’t even read the large letter on the top line. I
turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked: he was
standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to
finish the exam.
–Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How
long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she
answered “Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.”
–Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his general practitioner, that he was
having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one?” I asked. “The
patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m
running out of places to put it!” I had him quickly undress and
discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty
patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old
patch before applying a new one.
–Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

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10 Ways to tell if your company has switched to a cheaper Health Insurance Company

10 Ways to Tell Your Company has Switched to Cheaper Health Insurance

With the lingering bad economy and corporate cutbacks, especially
on benefits, here are some ways to tell if your company has switched to
cheaper health insurance….


—Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.


—Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left at the trailer park.”


—The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.


—The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.


—The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “An apple a day.”


—Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.


—”The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges.”


—The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”


—Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.


—You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.


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Giving Blood

Giving Blood

Unknown Author



Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer
at Stanford Hospital,
I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a
disease and needed a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother.
He had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the
antibodies needed to combat the illness.


The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked
the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw
him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and
saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save Liza.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and
smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then
his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor
and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right
away?”

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought
he was going to have to give her all his blood.

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Actual Entries on Hospital Charts

Actual Entries on Hospital Charts

Actual Entries on Hospital Charts

  • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
  • Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • The patient refused autopsy.
  • The patient has no previous history of suicides.
  • Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Occasional constant infrequent headaches.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  • Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  • The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
  • Skin: somewhat pale but present.
  • The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
  • Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
  • Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
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