Clever Quotes

Photography Prints

Clever Quotes
#1

“Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of
Three Ain’t Bad.”
*
“Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair.”
*
“I Used Up All My Sick Days… So I Called In
Dead.”
*
“Husband and Cat Lost… Reward for Cat.”
*
“Be Nice to Your Children… They’ll Pick Your Nursing
Home.”
*
“Husbands Should Come With Instructions.”
*
“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This
Time.”
*
“I Want It All and I Want It Delivered… Now ! “
*
“Life Is Hard; Then Your Not Here.”
*
“Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the
Same.”
*
“Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk
Carton.”
*
“Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt.”
*
“Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes… Use Birth
Control.”
*
“60-Year-Old, One Owner, Needs Parts… Make
Offer.”
*
“If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them
on
My Knees.”
*
“If You Can Read This…Kiss A Teecher.”
*
“A Nest Isn’t Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the
Attic.”
*
“That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!”
*
“Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
Up.”
*
“My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink.”
*
“I Yell Because I Care.”
*
“If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really
There.”
*
“Procrastinate Now.”
*
“Rehab Is for Quitters.”
*
“Re-Elect Nobody.”
*
(Across a drawing of a skeleton) “Waiting for the Perfect
Man.”
*
“My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse…
…. He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse.”
*
“My Dog Can Lick Anyone.”
*
“Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large
Groups.”
*
(On a baby-size shirt) “Party – My Crib – Two
A.M.”

Jokes posted regularly, follow me on Kindle.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perception

Photography Prints

Florial Business and the Friars

The Friars of the Floral Business

Some Friars were behind on their belfry payments

, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the Friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the Friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the Friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close shop.

Terrified, the Friars did so – thereby proving that . . .

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist Friars.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Art Prints

 

 

The Armless Bell Ringer

The Armless Bellringers

I thought this was hilarious!

 

There was a monastery in France at the edge of a cliff overlooking a beautiful valley, and
because its bells could be heard over such a wide area, it developed a
reputation for attracting only the finest bellringers in the country.

There was always a bit of dread when a bellringer passed on or retired, and
one year, when they spread the word of their need for a new master,
there was a dearth of qualified candidates. They would have been good
enough for any other monastery, but not this one. Better to have silent
bells than anything less than the best.

As they were despairing at the quality of candidates, a man with no
arms paid a visit to apply for the position. The monks were amazed and
protested that this was no time for joking. But the man insisted, said
he was from a family of famous bellringers, and he would show them what
he could do. He drew back, lowered his head, and charged full speed at
the bell. The monks was horrified, but could not stop him. And the
sound — oh my, you should have been there! It was indeed a sound
worthy of that monastery. It rang thruout the valley, and people
everywhere stopped in their tracks and nodded to each other that at
last a worthy bellringer had been found.

But alas, it was not to be. For the impact so stunned the poor
armless man that he stumbled dizzily and fell over the cliff. The head
monk ran down the steps to where a crowd had gathered, and a policeman
spoke to him. “Do you know this man?” The monk sighed, “No, but his
face rings a bell.”

The search continued. One day not long after, another armless man
showed up and presented himself as the previous man’s brother. He was
there to uphold the family honor, and would show them what a good
bellringer could do. The monks protested, but too late — he also drew
back and charged full speed into the bell. And once again, the most
beautiful sound pealed out over the valley, such that even the birds
circled around to see what was happening. And once again, he was so
stunned that he too fell over the cliff in a daze.

Once again the head monk scrambled down the stairs to meet the crowd
and a policeman. Again he was asked if he knew the deceased. “No, but
he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”


15% off Graduation Announcements at Cardstore.com

 

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Sleeping Librarian

A librarian was fast asleep at 3:00 in the morning when the phone rang. The voice on the other end said,” What time does the library open?”
“Nine O’clock ,” replied the librarian, bleary-eyed.”And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?”
“Not until 9:00?” said  the caller.
“No not until 9:00” replied the librarian, “Why do you want to get in before nine o’clock?”
“I don’t want to get in,” said the caller, “I want to get out.”

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