The Generous Lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine
when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver
to stop and he got out to investigate.

“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.

“We don’t have any money for food.” the poor man replied.

“Oh, come along with me then.”

“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”

“Bring them along! And you, come with us too!”, he said to the other man.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children!” the second man answered.

“Bring them as well!” the wealthy lawyer said.

They all climbed into the limo and once underway, one of the poor fellows
says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “My pleasure, the grass in my back yard is about two
feet tall.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

best of times

The Best of Times

Raunchy Fortune cookies

Raunchy Fortune Cookies

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Panties not best thing on earth! They next to best thing on earth.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who wars with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Virginity like bubble: one prick, gone forever.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

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alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Really Bad Puns


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
but when they lit a fire
in the craft it sank – proving once and for all that you can’t have your
kayak and heat it, too.

*
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
*
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles
up
to the bar and announces “I’m looking for the man who shot my
paw.”
*
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in
his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says,
“I’ll just have the eggs Benedict.” His order comes a while later and
it’s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the
hubcap?” The waiter sings, “Oh, there’s no plate like chrome for the
hollandaise!”
*
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
*
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
*
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and
would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon,
as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to
find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly,he threw
together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The
doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and
exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied
the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”
*
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something
to
eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book;
the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on
the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle
knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
*
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in
ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

My Spell Checker

Anyone Else have this problem?

Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

 

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Snow White

Snow White

Snow White took photos of the Dwarfs and
their
surroundings. She took the film to be
developed.

After a week or so she went to get the finished photos.
The clerk said the photos were not back from the
processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and
started to cry.

The clerk, trying to console her, said, “Don’t worry.
Someday your prints will come.”

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The Farmer and the fly

The Farmer and the
Fly

A farmer was milking a cow and a fly was
flying around.
He shushed it away with his hand and it flew in the cow’s
ear.

He kept milking and the fly came out in the milk bucket.
The farmer thought “In one ear and out the
udder”.

Laugh along on your Kindle.

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Puns

Some Puns

An Indian Success Story
Old Chief Gnarled Oak, was turned into a millionaire by
the discovery of oil on his reservation. He fell into the
yuppie temptation, and he was particularly proud and
pleased when his two boys were accepted into the swanky
yacht club. For years, it seemed, his one consuming
ambition was to see … his red sons in the sail set.
(By Bennett Cerf)

The Panhandler
A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess
liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas.
He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship
telling him, …Beggars can’t be cruisers.

The General’s Funeral
The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington
National Cemetery. All the air lines were booked and there were no
other planes available. Someone came up with the idea of using a
helicopter. It arrived at 5:00 A.M. The newspapers reported the
incident with the headlines, … “The Whirly Bird Gets The
Urn”

The Tilde
As has been pointed out, that “~” thing is called a “tilde:. Walt
Whitman was one of the most avid advocates of it’s usage, and until
his death he devoted untold hours making others aware of it’s
potential. So today, as I use that little button on the upper left of
my keyboard, I often feel like … Walt’s in my tilde.

Indecision
The confused young man couldn’t decide whether to marry Kathryn or
Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind. Unwilling
to give up either, he strung them along for far too long. This
indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation
and left him for good. Moral of the story: … You can’t have your
Kate and Edith, too. (By Bennett Cerf)

New Coin
A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent
piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one
side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt, on the other, Nathan
Hale. Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the
official replied, … “Now, when you have a coin toss, you can simply
call “Teds, or Hales!”

Moonlighting
Two contestants on a TV game show were in the final round. Mr. Cohn
was way ahead of Mr. Schine, but just as the buzzer was rung, Schine
slipped ahead, and won! When asked what prize he wanted, Mr. Schine
stated that he wanted a horse. The game show host asked why, and was
told, “I want a horse so I can name it ‘Harvest Moon.'” Then, I can
have a portrait painted, and call it … “Schine on Harvest
Moon.”

The Wedding Gift
A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his
offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their
favorite was a set of towels embroidered with the words…. “hiss and
hearse”

The Coal Miner
A news item this morning was about a local coal miner. It seems
that
his avocation was painting, but since he couldn’t afford to buy
canvasses he simply painted on the wall of his small cottage.
Unfortunately, a gang of youths broke into his cottage earlier this
week and defaced his paintings. Yesterday the young miscreants were
charged in court with having … “corrupted the murals of a
miner.”

Laugh along with me on Kindle.

Photography Prints

Nate and Sam

Nate and Sam

While hiking in the woods, Nate and Sam found
this huge rock which
had an old iron lever attached to it. Etched into the rock was the
following inscription:

“If this lever is pulled, the world will come to an
end!”

Nate wanted to pull the lever and see what would happen, but Sam,
being a paranoid pessamist, greatly feared this! He said to Nate that
if he tried to pull the lever, he’d shoot him! In a daring attempt, Nate
lunged for the lever, and sure enough, Sam shot him! What is
the moral of this story?

Better Nate than lever!

If you enjoy a good laugh as much as I do follow me on Kindle.

Art Prints

The Years best Headlines

The Year’s Best
Headlines

Include Your Children when Baking
Cookies
*
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
*
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
*
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
*
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
*
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
*
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
*
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
*
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout
Counter
*
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a
While
*
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
*
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
*
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
*
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
*
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
*
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
*
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Receive a chuckle several times a week on your Kindle.

Art Prints

The Custodian

The Custodian

A friend and I were standing inside a building
of a local theme park. We
were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day. The area’s
custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very
small woman (4’10”, 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough time trying
to not be blown away.

My friend joked with the lady, telling
her that she would have to put
heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.

The lady looked at my friend and lisped,
“You mean, … now I weigh me
down to sweep?”

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