You Know You’re on a No Frills Airline When

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
*

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
*

Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
*

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
*

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
*

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
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When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
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The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
*

The ground crew uses jumper cables and an old pickup truck to start the
engines.
*

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

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George Koritzer

 

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The Pilot and the Navigator

The Pilot and the Navigator

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver.
The navigator eyed him suspiciously as he placed it on top of the
instrument panel.

After an uncomfortable pause, the pilot asks him, “Do you know what I use this for?”

“No, sir. What’s it for?” the navigator asked, even though he was pretty sure what was up.

“I use this on navigators who get me lost!” the pilot said.

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The pilot smirked, and turned back to his flying.

A few minutes later, the navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and
place it on his chart table, in full view of the pilot, but he didn’t
say anything.

The pilot finally had to ask: “What’s that for?”

“To be honest, sir,” the navigator replied, “I’ll know we’re lost long before you will.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

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In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Blonde Pilot

 

The Blonde Pilot

A blonde was the sole passenger in a two-seater airplane when the pilot suddenly has a heart attack and dies. 

But she knew what to do: she had seen it in the movies! She grabs the
radio microphone and calls out: “Mayday Mayday Mayday! Help me! Help
me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. I don’t know how to fly.
Help me! Please help me!”

Immediately a calm, reassuring voice replies. “This is Air Traffic
Control,” he says, “and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you
through this and get you back on the ground. I’ve had a lot of
experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath.
Everything will be fine. Give me your height and position.”

She says, “I’m five-foot-four and I support Mitt Romney.”

There’s a long pause.


“O.K.” says the voice on the radio, “I didn’t realize you were blonde. Repeat after me: Our Father, who art in Heaven….”

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 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Old Pilot

During a commercial airline flight a retired pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began breast feeding the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he
gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related
items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded,
“Gosh, that’s a good looking baby — and he sure was hungry!”

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said
that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the changing
pressure in the baby’s ears.


“And all those years,” the old captain said, suddenly looking terribly sad, “I just chewed gum.”

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Meal Time on El-AL

MEAL TIME ON EL-AL

It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked Moishe, seated in front.

“What are my choices?” Moishe asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 

Make money doing what you love

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This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Fear of Flying

 

Fear of Flying?


At a recent software engineering management
course in the U.S., 
the participants were given an awkward question to answer. “If
you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of
programmers had been responsible for the flight control software,
how many of you would disembark immediately?”



Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat
motionless.
When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite
content to stay on board.

“With my team’s software,” he said, “the plane was unlikely to even

taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.”

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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

schoolhouse

A life long journey of spiritual enlightenment. A journey we all must take

 

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Love Story

Love Story

I’d guess a lot of people would term this a true story….

He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me
into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
Now this was what I was hoping for when I booked my romantic vacation !

He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear: “Just relax.”

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused
hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my
calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I
should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so
experienced, so sure.

When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and
partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers
caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full
breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing
what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my
tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and
expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man
not used to taking `no’ for an answer . A man who would tell me what he
wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say … “Okay, ma’am,”
said a voice. “All done.”

My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse.

“You can board your flight now. Next!”

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Air Sick

Air Sick

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him. The huge man glares threateningly at his neighbor, crowds the little guy so much that he’s flattened against the window, and immediately falls asleep.

After the plane takes off, the little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. After a few attempts, he realizes that he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy,trying to decide what to do.

Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes over the little fellow. He just can’t hold it in any longer and finally pukes all over the big guy’s chest.

About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.

“So,” the little guy says brightly, “are you feeling better now ?”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

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