I’m out of estrogen – But I have a gun!!
*
Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?
*
I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
*
Warning! Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
*
And your point is…
*
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now.
*
I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
*
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
*
Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time.
*
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
*
I’m multi-talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.
*
Do NOT start with me You will NOT win.
*
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
*
All stressed out and no one to choke.
*
I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.
*
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
The wisdom of our ancestors
There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world, I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often. It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors
If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
*
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it
down.
*
Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
*
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
he
can find the perfect gift.
*
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer
you
don’t want to hear.
*
Sometimes, he is not thinking about you. Live with
it.
*
Don’t ask about his thoughts unless you want to discuss navel lint,
shotguns, or monster trucks.
*
Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different. It’s just like every
other cat.
*
A dog is better than ANY cat. Period.
*
Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
*
Shopping is not a sport.
*
Anything you wear is fine. Really.
*
You have enough clothes.
*
You have too many shoes.
*
Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect him to submit
to it.
*
Your ex-boyfriend is, was, and always will be an
idiot.
*
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
*
No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark important
days on
a calender.
*
Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think he
would be any good at choosing which pair, out of your thirty, would look
good with your dress?
*
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
*
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
*
Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
*
Foreign movies are best left to foreigners.
*
Check your oil.
*
Don’t give him 50 rules when 25 will do.
*
It is neither in your best interest nor his to take the quiz
together.
*
Anything said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.
*
If you won’t dress like Victoria’s Secret women, don’t expect us to
act
like soap opera men.
*
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways
makes you sad and/or angry, we meant the other one.
*
You can either ask him to do something or tell him how you want it
done
-not both.
*
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
*
Consider golf a mini-vacation from each other. He needs it just as
bad
as you do.
*
Telling him that the models in men’s magazines are airbrushed makes
you
look jealous and certainly is not going to deter him from reading
them.
*
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months.
We got off the Titanic
first.
*
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological
disorder excuses.
*
We can be groupies. Male groupies are
stalkers.
*
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
*
Taxis stop for us.
*
We don’t look like a frog in a blender when
dancing.
*
Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the
point.)
*
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on
life.
*
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the
Speedo.
*
If we forget to shave, no one has to
know.
*
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her
butt.
*
If we’re dumb, some people will find it
cute.
*
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
*
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that
we look like an idiot.
*
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your
problems.
*
We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
*
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their
shoes.
*
We’ll never discover we’ve been duped by a
Wonderbra.
Success: A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.
The Morning:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Money Management:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item
he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she
doesn’t.
Happiness:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him
a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
Marriage Expectations:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she
does.
Marriage Decisions:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
Marriage and the Future:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.
Memories:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry
her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn’t
marry.
Understanding Women:
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before
marriage and after marriage.
What a Woman Wants:
Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy:
One is to let her think she is having her own way.
The other is to let her have it.
Longevity:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
more
willing to die.
Mistakes:
Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people
remembering
the same
thing.
The Battle:
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
I post several times a week, you can now follow on Kindle.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
Make money doing what you love
The informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.
My thighs were stolen from me during the
night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else’s thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if
imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to
mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, In vain, at pools
and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed.
I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that
turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to
living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
My buns were next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to
match my new derriere (although badly attached at least 3 inches lower
than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my
rear
complimented my legs lump for lump.
Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
It was 2 years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
while fixing my hair, I watched horrified, but fascinated, as the flesh of
myupper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly,
one section at a time.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up,
unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity…NO, I was being
attacked,
repeatedly and without warning.
During one spring, my attention was riveted to upper arms, female arms. I
studied them from every angle, being careful not to raise mine in public
nor flatten them too tightly against my body. In private I held them
straight
out and did endless circles that would have tightened my real arms but did
nothing for these Silly-Putty caricatures.
In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they
do
to me next? In short order my eyes began to remind people that they needed
a new pair of Hush Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the
Thanksgiving turkey it now reminded me of.
That’s why I’ve decided to tell my story; I can’t take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee!
That isn’t really “plastic” those surgeons are using. You know where
they’re
getting those replacement parts, don’t you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face “lifted”, look again. Was it lifted from you? Check
out those tummy tucks and buttocks raising. Look familiar? Are those
your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have found my
thighs.
I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them.
“When women are depressed they either eat
or go shopping. Men invade
another country.”
Elayne Boosler
“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” Hedy Lamarr
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson
“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” Marie Corelli
“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” Gilda Radner
“Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.” Bella Abzug
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” Katharine Hepburn
“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.” Margaret Thatcher
“Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.” Baroness Edith Summerskill
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” Linda Ellerbee
Secrets about life every woman should know “I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.
This is supposedly a real question asked in job interviews to find creative thinkers. Before looking at the answer, decide how you would respond.
You are driving down the road in your two-seater sports car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop bench and you see
threepeople stranded in the storm waiting for the bus. All three are in immediate danger because of the ferocious weather. They include:
An old lady who, in your expert opinion, will die without quick medical attention.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect woman you have always dreamed about, and has “that look” on her face like you’re her perfect match too.
Here’s the question:
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
You could pick up the old lady, because she is near death, and thus save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. Or, you could just pretend you didn’t see any of them, and drive on past …which will convince the job interviewer that you’re a psychopath, and you’ll never get a job again.
Think before you continue reading. Which will you choose?
– – –
The Smartest Man in the World was asked this question in a job interview, and he quickly came up with his answer: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.”
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box”!
However, he didn’t get the job! Because the correct answer is to run the old lady over to put her out of her misery since Medicare won’t pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the perfect woman on the hood of the car, then drive off with your old friend for a few beers.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned
by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved
by Arthur’s youth and ideals So the monarch offered him freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would
be
put to death…. The question: What do women really
want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch. Only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he’d have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry him.
Young Arthur was horrified: She was hunchbackedand hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature.
Finally, having no real choice, he agreed. Their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus: What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
What a wedding Arthur and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. He was proper as always, gentle, and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable.
The hour approached. Arthur, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful
woman he’d ever seen lay before him! The astounded Arthur asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she’d appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What a cruel question! Arthur pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?
What Arthur chose follows below……but don’t read until you’ve made your own choice……. Noble Arthur replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is:
If your woman doesn’t get her own way, things are going to get ugly!
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket
where she selected
a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a
head of romaine lettuce, a 2lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package
of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
He said, “You must be single.”
The woman, a bit startled but intrigued
by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly
unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what,
you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know
that?”
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Hoosier Hysteria 