But on the Other Hand

But on the Other Hand
#2…

No one listens until you make a
mistake.
*
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full
view.
*
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required
on it.
*
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the
softness of
the bread.
*
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability
to
reach it.
*
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.
*
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch
up.
*
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
*
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never
tried
before.
*
Don’t sweat the petty things….or pet the sweaty
things.
*
A fool and his money are soon partying.
*
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
*
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of
payments.
*
Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great
trade!
*
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
*
Everybody repeat after me…..”We are all
individuals.”
*
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real
eye-opener.
*
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman
scorned.
*
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
checks.
*
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off
now.
*
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it
back.
*
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the
spot.
*
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
*
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t
for you.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow me on Kindle.

Art Prints

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