Aphorisms For our Time

Aphorisms For Our
Time

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this
bull before.
*
Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
*
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad
check.
*
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from
where you
left them to where you can’t find them.
*
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
*
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve
as
warning to others.
*
Ray’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
*
Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It’s
easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you’d be paranoid
too.
*
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
*
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of
thinking.
*
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you
need it.
*
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
criticism.
*
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full
view.
*
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
many is
research.
*
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above
your
principles.
*
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
*
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch
up.
*
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
*
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never
tried
before.
*
Change is inevitable….except from vending
machines.

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