Woman’s Dictionary

The Women’s
Dictionary

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally
becomes when pulled over
by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re
right,
but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the
lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, “made the dinner”.

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can
understand
them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat
socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go
with a pound of M&M chocolate covered
peanuts.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football
game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See also
“Magician”.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in
space…if
he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of
contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, “Focus… breath…
push… Good Girl!”

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere
romantic”. After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also
“tranquilizers.”

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of
a
candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry,
shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove
it.

Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone male to
take
out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

I post jokes several times a week, you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions

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