Jewish Wisdom

Photography Prints

A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi and asks, “Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?”


The wise old Rabbi answers: “Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.”

 

If a married Jewish man is walking alone in a park and expresses an opinion without anybody hearing him, is he still wrong?

My father says, “Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family.”

I said, “Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I’m a schmuck?”

Jewish Marriage advice “Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you.

Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?”

Morris went to his rabbi for some needed advice. “Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man’s mistakes?”

“No Morris, a man should not profit from another’s man mistakes” answered the rabbi.

“Are you sure Rabbi?”

“Of course, I’m sure, in fact I’m positive” exclaimed the Rabbi.

“Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife?”

The Italian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”

The Frenchman says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have cognac.”

The Russian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”

The German says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”

The Mexican says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.”

The Jew says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”

Jewish proverb: “A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she’ll never forget what she forgave.”

A Jewish congregation in suburban Boston honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, he finds a beautiful nude woman lying on the bed.

She greets the Rabbi with, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the President of the Temple arranged for you. The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple and shouts, “Greenblatt, what were you thinking? Where is your respect? I am the moral leader of our religious community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this.”

Hearing this, the naked woman gets up and starts to get dressed.

The Rabbi turns to her and asks, “Where are you going? I’m not angry with YOU!”

Funny, Follow me on Kindle.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo


AmericanGreetings.com

 

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

Religion Note Book
Religion Note Book by lifejourneysimages
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