House Cleaning

House Cleaning

An employee went in to see his boss.
“Boss,” He said. “We’re doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with clearing stuff out of the attic, the shed and the garage, and with scrubbing down all the kitchen cabinets.”

I’m sorry, said the boss,” but we’re short handed at the moment. there’s no way I can give you the day off.”
“Thanks boss, I knew I could rely on you.”

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The Washingtonian

Three men, a Californian, a Nebraskan, and a Washingtonian were walking along the beach when they came across a lantern. While they were examining it, a genie popped out and declared, “I ll give each one of you one wish.”
The Nebraskan said,”I am a farmer, my father was a farmer, and my son will be a farmer, so I want the land in Nebraska to be fertile forever.”
There was a puff of smoke and the genie said the wish had been granted.
Next it was the Californians turn.
 He told the genie, “I want a wall around California so that no foreigners can come into our precious state.”
 There was a puff of smoke and the genie said the wish had been granted.
Finally it was the Washingtonians turn, he said to the genie,”Tell me more about this wall around California.”
“Well,” said the genie,” It’s 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state, nothing can get in or out.”
“Interesting, “mused the Washingtonian, “Fill it with water.”

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The Taxi Driver

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The Taxi Driver

When the passenger tapped him on the shoulder to ask a question,the taxi driver screamed,lost control of the vehicle and nearly ran into a crowd of pedestrians.
“Don’t ever do that again!” He yelled.
“I’m sorry,”said the passenger,”It was only a tap on the shoulder.”
“Maybe, but this is my first day as a cab driver, I’ve been driving hearses for the last twenty years.”

A Juniper Bonsai tree

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

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Watching Football

After spending  all day watching football on TV, a man falls asleep and spent the night sleeping on the couch.
His wife woke him in the morning,
“It’s Twenty to Seven,” She states.
He responds,”In whose favor?”

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Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson  went camping.

After a Good meal and an excellent bottle of wine, they lay down and went to sleep. A couple of hours later, Holmes woke up and nudged his faithful friend,”Watson,Watson, “he said, Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions of star, “replied Watson.
“And what does that tell you?” inquired the master detective.
Watson thought for a moment, “Well, Holmes, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions and millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
 Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately two twenty-five.
 Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
 Meteorologically, I believe we will have a glorious day tomorrow, What does it tell you, Holmes?”
“Watson, you imbecile, Some one has stolen our tent.”

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Camping World

Fire Safety

Fire Safety!

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.

Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”

Later a blonde employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?”

In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze!

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Riding in a Yugo

Riding in a Yugo

A small boy was walking alongside the road when a car pulled up along side. The driver leaned out and said,” If you get in my car, I’ll give you a bag of sweets.”
The boy ignored him.

“OK,” said the driver,”If you get in my car ,I’ll give you two bags of sweets.”
Still the boy ignored him.
“Listen,” persisted the driver, “If you get in my car, I’ll give you all the sweets you want  and ten dollars.”
The boy turned to the driver and said, ” Look dad, for the last time, I’m not getting in that Yugo.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Safety Tips

 

The Killer Jigsaw Puzzle

The Killer Jigsaw Puzzle

One morning a blonde calls her friend and says, “Please come over andhelp me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can`t figure out howto start it.”

Her friend asks, “What is it a puzzle of?”

The blonde says, “From the picture on the box, it`s a tiger.”

The friend figures he`s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She let him in and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute,then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says, “First, no matter what I do, I`m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.”

“Second, I`d advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!

The 50 greatest all time bacon recipes.

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

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The Best Patient

                                                                                          

                                                       The Best Patient

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating
table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth surgeon chimes in, “You know, I like construction
workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left
over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all
wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no
heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

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